That feels like tragedy's at hand.

Oct 16, 2002 21:01

How droll. A Gryffindor/Slytherin catfight.

Fifty points from Gryffindor, Mr Weasley, for your public outburst. An additional ten points for the shameful lack of creativity involved. Typically Gryffindor, resorting to crude obscenities, while a Slytherin would show quite a bit more imagination when expressing anger. Of course, it's all in the upbringing, which is why Mr Weasley's behaviour isn't surprising at all.

As for Mr Malfoy, being that he is a wizard child of pure blood, he more than likely has never had the opportunity to experience a Muggle zoo. Inside these attractions there are many warnings posted, asking visitors not to incite the orangutans lest they react in their usual way - chatter, screeching, and the flinging of feces, I believe is typical behaviour of such lower mammals.

Thus, Mr Malfoy, you may want to heed this advice yourself in this particular situation. The resemblance between the two is uncanny. Best not to risk it.

On to other things.

I have concluded yet another tedious day of professoring to mindless numbskulls hell-bent on destroying my last shreds of sanity, along with my classroom. Twenty points from Gryffindor, Mr Longbottom, for your continued exhibition of complete and utter idiocy.

In addition to Longbottom's attempt to set the dungeons ablaze yet again, Mr Potter once more displayed his total lack of respect for authority. Professor sinistra may have had the happy privilege of giving out his detentions for the Quidditch incident that started the aformentioned ruckus, but she was fortunately not present for Potter's insipid excuse regarding his Frog's Breath essay. "My owl ate my homework" is hardly a satisfactory explanation, and the production of an owl-pelle, seemingly constructed of parchment, as "proof" was absolutely disgusting.

For causing me undue nausea, I take 30 points from Gryffindor, and give two detentions to Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle.

Mr Crabbe, you will observe a week-long constraint of five words or less, per day, when speaking or writing. Seeing as how this applies to your homework, I suggest you learn the fine art of summary.

Mr. Goyle will assist Madame Pince in the library, cataloguing books and reading to first-years.

I trust you both know where to direct any outrage you may have over the unfairness of it all.

Good night, Hogwarts.
Previous post Next post
Up