Tara have new jobby job! Which means for the last two weeks for at this one, I must work harder than ever. But oh! To have lunch on campus with the spring coming up...to have an office with a window (a pathetic wish, but one I now perfectly understand)...to be writing...gah. That's it. Just...gah.

I'm about to gnaw my own face off with anxiety and irritation today. I'm literally going to eat myself in distress. Tired of my heart racing every time my phone rings, only to find out it's NOT the job folks on whom I've been waiting. Tired of going straight home from work everyday to do more work. Tired of feeling ugly and exhausted and stressed ( Read more... )

I have fantasies. I consider myself a practical person, fairly well-grounded in reality (or my perception thereof). But occasionally even I allow my mind to wander, and to imagine "What if?" And you know the way some people have fantasies about fucking? I have fantasies like that too, only they're about QUITTING MY GODDAMN JOB! I shall not rest ( Read more... )

Your Candy Heart Says "Get Real"
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You remember how your mom used to tell you that if you kept making a face, it would eventually get stuck that way? Well, IT'S FUCKING TRUE! I am particularly horrified to see this maternal prophecy bear fruit: I now have permanent frown lines between my eyebrows, even when I am not frowning. It's not that I'm an unhappy person! I frown at ( Read more... )

On days like today, I long for a fireplace ( Read more... )

The roads are booty. I wish they'd let us go early, so I don't die in 5:00 traffic. That's not how I imagined my end. I pictured more some sort of Rambo-esque scenario with lots of screaming and explosions, perhaps a grenade or ten. Not sandwiched between a Lexus SUV and a semi, which will surely be my fate if this keeps up. You all may be planning ( Read more... )

I pulled over for a long funeral procession during lunch today. It was achingly slow. Stately. Dignified. Respect was so thick it was oozing in the air. I wondered if this person's death was at all like the parade to the cemetery. Did they fight their death, cry, or scream? Were they afraid? Or did they accept it and shrug with the aplomb we'd all ( Read more... )

I WANT EVERYTHING TO EXPLODE.

kablooey.

I can smell rain, but there's none in sight. I guess I'll sniff my coffee instead. Hazelnut creamer is kind of lame next to a nice storm or some spring action, though.

All weekend, I've had Otis Redding's "A Change is Gonna Come" stuck in my head. I sure hope this holds true.