look, i'm not asking for much. just a little consistency.

i hate this. i hate how stupid i was to let myself get involved with absolutely no sign of commitment. i hate how i know i needed him even if it was wrong. i hate how i still miss him. i hate how i'm losing him more and more as time goes on and he doesn't seem to notice.

when we were together ( Read more... )

so today.. we got a school bus at the dairy queen. that was exciting. which inspired this color.

i need 200 more dollars for ICON. i'm nervous because i may have waited to long to get mr. smith as my chaperone. but i'm sure it'll work itself out, regardless. and then i need... spending money. i'm the only one going from AB.

i'm stressed... about ( Read more... )

this is almost the color of my prom dress. ^-^

only not "^-^" because i'm extremely nervous about prom. first, i want to look beautiful for thomas that night... and i don't really have a hairstyle picked out yet and i feel fat and we haven't really talked much about how things are going to be. and unfortunately i'm still extremely attached to him, ( Read more... )

So it's the last night of South Pacific. I'm going to the cast party tonight, and I hope he's there so I can talk to him. I really need a friend right now. a male friend. paul is great, sometimes... but he's never around. so it's pointless. and i'd like anonymous to fill that void, if he's so willing.

every night during the performance i get ( Read more... )

South Pacific Blue. lol. i'm so smart.

first off, i'm not entirely sure what motivated me to post tonight. except that i haven't wanted to write lately. typing just seems easier. and i have a lot on my mind. so i might as well, right?

i don't miss drama. i miss acting, i miss some of the people, but i don't miss drama. and i wont miss high school. i ( Read more... )

So... maybe if it weren't snowing and I wasn't totally stressed out and sick it would feel like spring break. but all of the above are true, so it doesn't. and i just want one day to emerge from the past and envelop me. then everything would be alright. but things aren't. i feel like the second one problem is solved, another one crops up. first ( Read more... )

To start with, I'm typing in green because that's the color of my prom dress, which i'm very pleased to own. *sigh* prom is so expensive.  I thought i'd clarify that for everyone who might happen to be reading this (in shock, i'm sure)...

I stopped writing in my livejournal the week thomas and I broke up. people were reading about it... about how ( Read more... )

So... last night was the Homo for the Holidays party, which i did not attend. you know, even though i originally decided not to go because they told me they didn't have room for me to bring my guest, and later i could have gone because that guest dumped me... i'm glad i didn't go. because apparently everyone was telling my sister all about how said ( Read more... )

i shouldn't let this keep me down. everyone who has anything to say basically says the same thing as everyone else. eventually it'll get better. eventually. how bleak.

but i've yet to cry today. maybe because i haven't had the alone time... maybe because i slept in a band locker during lunch. lol. i'm pathetic.

i guess the most difficult part is ( Read more... )

if you saw me in school today you're probably either worried or curious... or both, i suppose.

Thomas and I broke up.

okay... nothing else needs to be said. i really, honestly don't care how you feel about that statement. i just feel you deserve to know.