Dear Kermit ( Read more... )

Thank you to everyone who alerted me about the latest entry - I have now removed it and marked it as spam.

Dear Bonsai,

The words to every song on my playlist are not the same as Surfin' Bird by The Trashmen. :)

Sincerely,
-Victoria/Mom

Dear Sui, dear Juu ( Read more... )

My Dearest Bonsai ( Read more... )

Dear Garuda*,

I promise you, I am not hiding yummy treats in my mouth. Those shiny white things are my teeth. They do not come out (or won't for a long time, hopefully), so you do not need to keep reaching in there to grab them.

*formerly Asia, until I knew for sure he was a boy.

You are the cutest, cuddliest little Red-bellied Parrot ever. But if you keep removing the key tops from my keyboard so I can't type, no one else will ever know.

patiently,
Sam

If you weren't so cute, you'd probably be dead by now.  I don't know what you get out of the surprise attack bite on the back of my neck, since all I do is say "Ow, goddammit" and ignore you, but it's not the best way to make me love you, you know.  I mean, I've learned to deal with (and mostly avoid) the bites on fingers or hands that are sort-of ( Read more... )

No, Kermit, you are not allowed to play in the microwave.

No matter how tempting you make that sometimes.

Dear adorable parrot ( Read more... )