Annie,

Yes, I know I left it on the desk.
But please, please, please never nibble on a check again. How do you expect me to buy you organic cranberries if you eat my checks?

Thank you
Your slave =p

Dear Lilly ( Read more... )

Dear Rusty,

It is NOT funny when you purposely turn over the trash can in the bathroom. Stop doing it and then looking pleased with yourself.

Dear Mango ( Read more... )

My sweet, tiny, half-moon, I am so sorry that I tried to use that harness on you again. I threw the old one away, swearing it was the end of the harness for you...then six months later, I bought the same thng again. How stupid! Your little body is too delicate for such a monstrosity. When I pressed on the plastic quick release clip, it did not ( Read more... )

Dear Jennie,

K bird, let's go over this ONE MORE TIME.

Mom's leopard spot tattoos are just like Mom's other tattoos and freckles; they do not come off.Scraping and picking at them with your beak and rubbery ol parrot tongue is not going to make them come off ( Read more... )

Dear Duncan,

Contrary to what you believe, I have a cold, and I am not making that silly noise for your benefit.

Dear Kermit,

Please stop trying to eat the tissues.

Dear Kermit,

My fingernails are not a foraging toy. Please, please, please, please stop looking for marvelous treats under them.

Dear Kermit,

Okay, fess up. Who taught you to shout Street Fighter attack names?

Also, if I catch you saying "Haddoken!" while pooping, I'm taking you back to the parrot factory.

Dear Jennie,

You were exceptionally naughty this week and I hope it's because you're trying to get it out of your system and behave in 2007.

It is NOT very nice to squawk super-loud when Mommy has a hangover and it is really most unkind to laugh and do your heavy metal singer impressions when Mommy is throwing up.

It is also NOT preferred that ( Read more... )