weeks later and im increasingly anxious. it's destroying me. i snapped at my boss today. ethan attacked me. everything i do pisses someone off. everything i do is pathetic. how can i go on.

livejournals are so embarassing. you post something but i can go read it if i look at your livejournal. wow. out to lunch. did you know if you bring in your own mug you can save five cents on your coffee. what the fuck. she's writing everything in her livejournal.

im anxious again. it might be a problem. i need a cigarette, that's for sure, but there's something else im upset about that i can't put my finger on. everything is, you know, okay. so why can't i relax.

i don't remember what my last update was like. probably pretty depressing ( Read more... )

i am really hung over. too bad i have to be on the ball today. i almost called in sick but then realized it would be a sign of alcoholism ( Read more... )

despite all the complaining that i've grown up too fast, there seems to be substantial evidence to the contrary. my housemate yesterday informed me that i was too intrusive, should not let my friends come over to do their laundry or hang around after i've left for work, and should not drink her vodka that's been sitting on the counter for weeks. ( Read more... )

i wish i wasn't so in-your-face. a person gets sick of me and i want to make it better. i pay more and more attention to the person and keep rubbing and rubbing it until he/she is completely turned off and can't stand to talk to me, see me or even think about me. i am more frustrated and lonely than ever before, thinking "what have i done!"

it's all angst. with a capitol a. i do not want to be alone but am sad my friends are gone. i can't thing of anything to say but want to talk. i'm not turned on but want to have sex. i don't want to do anything. what do you call that? time to stop the whining, finish my beer and take my newfound skate board for a ride, until it's time to get the ( Read more... )

how do i say this. if all i do is work, read books, and dick around with the same three people, i am faced with a big BO.R. boring life. which in turn causes conversations and ideas to be boring. for example, i can only talk about eating a burrito for a short period of time before the conversation's over. i can only talk about my job for so long ( Read more... )

i looked in my internet history after leaving a boy in my room all day and what did i find... you get three guesses. no one. i'll just tell you. porn, and lots of it! skinny naked or scantily clad white girls posing as teens, getting fucked from behind, giving blow jobs, posing coyly, swimming in a pool. not just one site. 19 websites, thoroughly ( Read more... )