some people are just better at hiding their doubt.

SELF DOUBT.

i hang my head in shame after reading my entries from long ago. god, why didn't anyone tell me i was that retarded? i was fourteen, but shit, that's still not a good enough excuse.

i never make any entries in this thing anymore, when i do it's just me complaining.

anyways, my moods have been pretty stable lately and i appreciate that so much. i was ( Read more... )

This Journal Is Friend's Only


( Read more... )

i looked out the window ( Read more... )

i feel like i left behind someone behind.
the only person who seems to actually care about me.
the one who cries with me when those certain people me.
she hurts with me.
and i acted to too late.
this may be very minor.
until then, i feel like complete shit

i'm going to sculpt thngs how iii want them. things will be the way they should.
instead of sitting around wishing what could be...i'll make them happen myself.
'expand my horizons'
and in that matter, better myself.
through this i can gain fortune, maturity, and possibly a little bit of self-love.
something i lack in
very, very 
much.

feels gooood to let ( Read more... )

if you had a grave
i'd lay flowers on it
pay my respects without no question
you deserve so much more
than what is there

I might disintegrate into the thin air if you'd like
I'm not the dark center of the universe like you thought
Well, it took a lot of work to be the ass that I am
And I'm real damn sure that anyone can, equally easily fuck you over
Well, died sayin' something, but didn't mean it
Everyone's life ends, but no one ever completes it
Dry or wet ice, they both ( Read more... )

maybe i'd have better quality to myself if i were that way
not just a wimp
or just someone who obviously doesn't love theirself.

apparently, i'm going to  "die alone" because of that.
let's try and discontinue it.

i 
have
nothing.