lately i have been acting like a fifteen year old and doing random stupid shit but it's actually been a lot of fun. i am almost nineteen and i am already tired of the whole adult thing. i don't know why i feel guilty for acting childish and looking at porn with a bunch of boys and laughing at everything when eighteen really isn't that old. these ( Read more... )

I SPREAD MY LOVE LIKE THE LEGS OF A CRACKWHORE, WE SLEEP TOGETHER BUT DON'T SLEEP TO KEEP IT SIMPLE.

once when i was moving south ( Read more... )

keep me feeling good, keep me feeling happy. keep feeding me until you think i'm full. keep feeding me until you think i won't notice what you're really doing. keep talking keep saying things. keep advising me and being there for me. keep thinking i don't notice. keep doing it. keep filling me up. keep bring me up but really pushing me down. ( Read more... )

i think of elliot smith and 'the cold comfort of the in-between, a little less than a human being' and i am seeing what is in front of me and not wanting it to happen but not stopping it either and it already hurts. it's only been a week but i feel like seeing garrett is already a habit, pretty much the best habit i've got.

he says 'i am a lot happier now but i am still a fucking wreck' and i feel the exact same. i am a lot happier now but i am still a fucking wreck. i like when he talks vulnerably about himself because i hardly know him and it makes me feel closer, it makes me feel like getting to know someone is the best part of knowing them at all. i feel like i ( Read more... )

i don't know how to be uncomplicated. he says, 'going from being simple to complex is much more terrifying than going from complex to simple' and it's nice how many times he is right and i am wrong.

i was regretting today long before i knew anything about it just because of it's date. i hate anniversaries of any sort because after that person is gone, the day's sole purpose for years to come is to miss them and be sad and tragic over them. i was neither of the two. i hung out with garrett and as much as i like to make it a joke, i really do ( Read more... )

so after aprox. three hours of sleep and five hours of working i pretty much want to die. funny thing is is that i have to go back and who srsly trains someone for eight hours? i feel sick and like falling over. luckily i have to "try" black coffee all day long which adds to my sickness but maybe gives me more energy. probably not.

there's something/somebody outside of my bedroom window. this and the tequila and the sobbing have made for a really good night.