it's funny when I think back to what I was like my freshman year of college and realize how much I've changed. I look back at what I wanted and realize that my life right now is probably better than I could have ever dreamed. if someone would have told me my freshman year that i would be engaged to the guy of my dreams and receive a scholarship ( Read more... )

it's like we're miles apart, and I'm shouting "I'm here! Come back for me!" But he can't hear me. then when he does, and the distance decreases, one of us runs away.

.........the problem is as much as i plan for failure, there's still that little part of me that wishes with all my heart that the won't come true ( Read more... )

sometimes i just want to build a brick wall around myself to protect myself from the pain and stress of life. sometimes...most of the time....things just don't turn out like you want them to. and i'm trying to get used to it. if you set yourself up for failure, the pain of disappointment can't hurt as much ( Read more... )

i don't know what it is about writing about myself that makes me hate myself more. here i am looking at all my skills and accomplishments and seeing how talented i am...and how do i respond--i start crying. i'm just sitting here at my computer trying to write this personal statement and tears start pouring down my face ( Read more... )

sometimes i get so sick of being so obsessed and stressed out about school and work. i don't like being so uptight and such a workaholic all the time. i just want to forget it all sometimes and do something wild and crazy.

it's like i want to show him and tell him how much i care. sometimes all i want to do is curl up in his arms or hold his hand. i imagine running to him and leaping into his arms or making out with him in the center of a crowd. but something always stops me. maybe i'm the one with the social phobia or i care too much about what other people ( Read more... )

every minute i spend with him and every conversation we have convinces me a little bit more that i want to spend the rest of my life with him.

with him it's like a complete sense of safety and belonging. like nothing can harm me and everything is going to turn out ok. but when i'm alone, i lose sight of that feeling and suddenly life seems out of control.

i feel like i'm living for the next time i get to see him. i'm so glad he's a million times closer than he was a year ago, but i'm also a little afraid of becoming too dependent on him ( Read more... )