Brought Alex to the ER again last night. The vomiting, cold sweats, low heart beat. Its the third time within a month, fourth time within six weeks ( Read more... )

Tomorrow we make the reservation for the car that Stephen and I will drive back home. I'll be buying space bags for my clothing. Next week I'll be back home ( Read more... )

I want to write about about a few random experiences I've had lately. I need to remember to take pictures. So random posts will happen.. I guess ( Read more... )

Things are odd here. I recently had a conversation with one of Alex's friends about the emotional trauma if you will I've been experiencing. He witnessed Alex becoming upset with me on a couple occasions and had been driving Alex to his fake therapy appointments unknowingly so he's become this unlikely confidant as he's gotten to see it first hand ( Read more... )

Trying to crawl out of this fucking hole. Im trying to get by day to day. Im trying to find a place to live, Im trying to find someone to watch Mabel while I'm couch crashing. Every fucking day is worse. Virginia was a godsend in the way that I saw how truly abusive and horrible my situation is but at the same time it made it worse because every ( Read more... )

Im almost about to start month two of insanity. Holy hannah, my body is still unsure what to think, especially my poor knees! haha I'm really proud of myself concerning my workout chart I'll post it in here once the month is done because I think its pretty awesome. I've been very consistent and Im proud of that. I wish more of my workouts were am ( Read more... )

I think I should go home, I really do. I just feel lost on how to make it work. I dont know the steps. Alex has turned into something I feel like I dont know. Lately he hardly eats, sleeps irregularly, we never spend time together, he's always angry.. we haven't shared a bed in a while now. I keep waiting for him to "snap out of it" because I know ( Read more... )

Im trying to find a way to make it back home but it's so hard to try and find a room mate or a plan of action. Life choices are so overwhelming right now. I think I need to be home with my family and friends. Theres this huge space between Alex and I and I don't think it's going to go anywhere. I feel like I'll never be part of his life. He's gone ( Read more... )

So in July I want to go back to Minnesota to do the warrior dash, it also gives me a time frame to really kick my ass fitness wise. I like yearly goals, I know a lot of people dont, but I think they are fun. This year I said by the end of the year I'd be able to do both pullups and pushups. I've been really dedicated in the past couple of weeks in ( Read more... )

I had a dream that my apartment was going to be inspected so I strapped backpack straps to my collapsible nylon cat carrier and put kitty-in-my-bathroom in it and had a very miyazaki worthy quest/epic walk with me and my unnamed cat ( Read more... )