I decided on Friday that life has become pretty stable, and it's time to deal with my issues with time. I have never felt like I'm in control of my life. I'm always rushing to catch up with whatever it is I'm supposed to be doing. Self-loathing ensues. So I decided to make it my project for the moment to figure out how to get over it ( Read more... )

Got back yesterday from the east coast, kaytt's wedding, and a whole bunch of amazing people I haven't seen in two years, and I feel amazing. I've changed so much in the past two years. I'm so much more sure of myself now, and conscious of what's important, and generally grown up, and in a short time I feel like I became closer to this group of people ( Read more... )

You know, life is way better when I'm not certain that no matter how hard I try, it won't be enough.

CLARIFICATION: Sorry, didn't realize how vague this was. Life is way better now, compared to the 11 months of working at amazon, and the lingering feeling of hopelessness during the following 11 months of unemployment. Then, I was certain that no ( Read more... )

Someone cut the rear derailleur and rear brake cables on my bike. Didn't cut all the way through, just left a few strands so they would only fail when I really needed them. If it had been both brake cables, it could have been bad, and it's possible that that's what the saboteur intended. I have no idea how to deal with this type of malice. Some ( Read more... )

First, for the folks without livejournal accounts who read my livejournal, I recently wrote the long post about polyamory I've been meaning to write forever, and made it my first friends-only post, so let me know if you'd like to see it ( Read more... )

If so, you might not like the rest of this post. How my responses in a study of sexual feelings and behavior of men compare to the general population. Seems pretty much on, except that I disagree with the stated implications of the Sexual Compulsivity Scale results for unsafe sexual practices.

UPDATE: Commentary on the study below the cut.

( Read more... )

Today was my first day of work in nearly 11 months. And I feel like I'm in my natural environment. Despite the perpetually unsatisfying amount of sleep over the past two years, and particularly bad past couple days (it's always worst just after I think I'm getting back on a good sleep schedule), I had no trouble digesting knowledge being fed to ( Read more... )

I'm going to write more about my life. But first, I'm going to share the greatest piece of junk mail I've ever received.

DEAR JESUS,
WE PRAY THAT YOU WILL BLESS SOMEONE IN THIS HOME SPIRITUALLY, PHYSICALLY & FINANCIALLYThat's on the outside of the envelope. Inside is a "Prayer Rug", which is a piece of paper with the image of a rug printed ( Read more... )

I'm relaxing, for once. I felt like this when college ended, and I knew I was moving to seattle and going to start work at amazon. I had such high hopes then for happiness, and now I do again. Then, though, I was more naive than I am now, and I feel like the chances are much higher than they were then that life will actually approach my hopes. ( Read more... )

I'm going to be presented my job offer sometime tomorrow, and will start next Tuesday, May 1, if all goes to plan. This is my last chance, I understand, to negotiate, which I also understand I am expected to do, or else risk losing a huge amount of money over the course of my life due to the compounded effect of having my first salary (effectively ( Read more... )