LJ Idol Week Eight - If You Leave

[ohelectricshock]

I have become a poison. Every word spilling out of my mouth is virulent, every touch flowing from my fingertips laced with toxin. He tells me how disrespectful I've been, how everything I do is permeated by a layer of distrust. Whenever we chance upon eye-contact he looks away. It feels like he hasn't smiled at me in months

Comments

[kagomeshuko]

Nice writing.

[ohelectricshock]

Thank you!

[icaruslived]

This is incredibly beautifully written. Thank you.

[ohelectricshock]

Thank you so much. I absolutely loved your piece this week also and couldn't find a way to properly express that in a comment.

[icaruslived]

Haha, thank you! And whaddya mean, you just did :P

[rayaso]

You made the right decision, and I hope you have taken strength and some consolation from this.

[ohelectricshock]

It is probably the one time in my life where I made a decision based on intuition and didn't go back on it. That entire experience helped me grow so much and it's definitely helped me approach my relationship now with a much healthier attitude.

[uncawes]

Stories based around real life events have that aura about them that pure fiction doesn't.
Hope it all works/worked out for everyone long term. Even Alex.
Self inflicted injuries hurt just as much as ones inflicted by others. Sometimes more
Thanks for sharing

[ohelectricshock]

I really do hope that Alex finds happiness wherever he goes and with whomever he shares his life with. This process of writing about the experience has been a wonderfully cathartic exercise in forgiveness - towards the both of us - and I agree that his hurt was probably felt more intensely than my own after we broke up. I hope that one day we'll be on a speaking basis again, because not knowing what he's doing and how he is is something that feels bizarre to me. I understand his need to not be in touch with me, however, and I want to respect that.

[whipchick]

"watching the day fade into through the windows" - I think a word is missing?

The thing I'm finding most interesting about this series is the sense of place - the lodge is becoming almost a character in itself.

[ohelectricshock]

YES, thank you! Had an extra word in there that I forgot to delete, fixed it now. :)

That is such an interesting observation and one that I would completely agree with. I am excited to develop the idea of being there a little more, the Lodge is such a huge entity in my brain as a place and a state of mind and being.