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I am not well
I am not well today or yesterday. I had the dream again. It's horrible it's the worse night terror imaginable and pitiful at the same time, I'm ashamed. In my dreams you forgive me and take me back,despite difficulties and its beautiful and I wake up and look for signs it was real and moan with the heartache of knowing its fake ( Read more... ) -
Some hope
Well I have some hope, my cousin Alissa stleast loves and cares about me as well as my Uncle Tom who is helping me get insurance and maybe go take art classes. I have one dear friend who is beautiful. Becky, who is intelligent beyond all comparison but crazy as a loon. But thsts what I like I guess cause I gotta try something else. You have a new ( Read more... ) -
First day completely friendless goodbye sobriety
Well I'm having fun stleast got some bags of dope. Bought some new spikes small tips so mommy does t say dear boy your obvy using, I'm drinking cold medicine like mothers milk blasting new wave driving the car without a license avoiding careening into people. Ha I don't like Mondays this livens it up. Thank you Brenda Ann spencer your ceartainly ( Read more... ) -
Well I guess this is how it is
I am officialy and utterly alone, without a single friend or friendly face to turn too. I wonder if this is how Craig felt in those last months in guess ill know soon enough. My last caring friend in the world Heidi is now banned from speaking, seeing, txting messaging or in any way contacting me or her fiancée will leave her, and since I know how ( Read more... ) -
Sometimes I wonder if you look at this
I hope so and hope not. I know all these are addressed to you bunny but I'm ashamed that I'm such a loser that I can't give you Up or get over you, that eerytime I see you and your new boyfriend I end up in the hospital becuase I wish I were him so badly back in your arms. I'm literally crying and choking as i write this. I've tried bun I've tried ( Read more... ) -
I think I'm going insane psrt 77 ha
No but I am. It's been a week since Heidi was so cruelly kidnapped from my house and shanghaied into rehab by her parents at my door. God Lauren. It was just like you, just like you I started crying and wailing yelling not again not again. Heidi was all the support I had in the world. Now I'm slone and on my own again. And I don't know whst to do. ( Read more... ) -
Man talk about nothing changing
Well your gone Heidi's now gone. And I'm back on my own again, lone wolf steppenwolf Harry Haller for a modern era. And it is DEPRESSING. Like a lead cloud weighing down on my head. I've Been taking alot of naps.living in. Nightmare world with you Paige Kelly everyone we know tearing me apart in my dreams various demons and ghasts and ghouls haunt ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
I was so afraid you got hurtin the blast I thank god you Wernt I couldn't calm down till spam told me you were allright. I prayed all day and night, I was so afraid you got hurt or killd and you'd nber ever forgive me or talk to me or anything. Wich you don't seem on planning to anyways. It seems only I care about us. God I miss you it's palpable. ( Read more... ) -
(Untitled)
Sometims I wonder if you know I still exist here? I do or if you ever read peruse or care. But darling dear whom I miss so much let me tell you something. Every night for about six months I've had nothing but night terrors about you I dream about you every night I run desperately through the halls of highschool our home our apartment our town. No ( Read more... ) -
Iknow
I know everyone says I wouldn't know you anymore ( Read more... )