A reminder to myself, I am not worthless. Loray will make me say it tomrrow even though I finnished some art this week to take an art course. That will not matter. Things to be dragged pulled pinched rent torn from me.

Is it that bad? Really is it that bad? I was fucked up yes and prob shouldn't have left you a crafted dachsund and a sorry letter but I did. And I wasn't awful sorry about it, I didn't think it warranted your dad threatening me. I mean I hope you didn't want him to. I really do I was crying all day about it I couldn't believe it. Things are this ( Read more... )

As I sit there munching salad idly wondering why I'm doing this if I'm so in love with you still. This is not real life this is just method acting, this is faking it till I make it. I can't make it, so I fake it on a fake date. We exchange fake smiles fake feelings fake hug. I kiss her on the cheek, no mouth no tounge. Refuse. Whenever her skin ( Read more... )

Sad today sad tomorrow nice girl gave me her number but she's s frim clinic so tech I'm nit allowed to if I anted to nit that I frankly even want to, that's how sad pitiful mind up inside I am, while your swapping fluids with Ian Poole I'm so hung on you being my soul mate I have zero sex drive

I'm scared I'm up for review tomorrow I gotta ahower shave look like I care about living so they don't throw me off the clinic for lack of self care. I miss you so muxh these days. It's like that big hollow center in me aches and calls to you out there in the ether. I don't know if yours does to but my empty aching hollow it aches for you. Try to ( Read more... )

You've beeen a bad boy look at the mess you make.

Today seems to be as difficult as they come, I feel like bill lee in junkie wondering how I'm going to get up in the morning shower shave be a person. At in my group and be tild the same things every week be told I'm stubborn and stuff,

Today is a hard day. I often find I have o bite back tears and emotions. I've been crying all day. First It was the night terrors where I dream anout you on a boat and race and scream but you always escape me it's like that hard cheese on tony in a handful of dust.heidi tries to cheer me up but to no avail. I just feel an awful hollow mess without ( Read more... )

Dating sucks I just spent the night with a schizophrenia cough syrup drinking madwoman that wasn't you in hops of alleviating my pain. Not such a good idea. H drove around chewing parsley driving recklessly. I chained smoke drank coffee and cough syrup and wondered and dreamed, when the night concluded she tried to decide if I was tje devil In ( Read more... )

A drea, where you and I talked walked held hands and it was beautiful we worked things out and kept going. Then I woke up from the night terrors screaming black hands pulling me back into charred mattresses and flowers. I miss you my angel