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jfioaf; this is stupid jasfo;
I'm finding it more and more difficult to keep trudging through all the bullshit around me right now. I can't seem to get anything right. I'm going to continue to be a complete waste of space... I don't know what to do about it, where to even begin.
I find out about my exams this Thursday... that could really effect my attitude. I took the written ( Read more... ) -
wheubfes possibly paralyzed by fear j;alsvanva
I have cried more in the last month than I did in 2023, which is likely a triumphant amount.
First I was fostering the puppies that almost made me lose it. Now it's mostly stress that I'm going to fail my comprehensive exams. I tried another trial run of 10 examples for the listening and I didn't feel good about it. I think I got at least four, ( Read more... ) -
affg sabotage asfv
I have been fostering a mama dog and her five puppies for about two weeks now. The puppies are incredibly cute, but this was most certainly a bad idea. They require so much time and energy, and there is piss everywhere... I was in a place where I was actually taking care of myself for a minute there, and just as predicted I screwed that up.
It's ( Read more... ) -
fgshtgdipsvjl feels ljvspidgthsgf
Over the last month or so I have been able to take better care of myself than I have in... well, many years. I'm afraid that going back to school is going to ruin it. Not that I'm in a great place, but it's something.
I'm also not prepared for my exams, nor have I figured out the credits I need to be enrolled and working for the school. I don't ( Read more... ) -
asfasdf if/when asffsfd
"If I ... " "When I..." "If not now, when?"
I have spent so much of my life wishing it were different without really making changes. Because of this I'm feeling as bad as ever, and I'm going to be 40 years old in 2025. So many things (dating, drag, dressing the way I really want to, ...living?) that I have told myself that I would do if or when I'm ( Read more... ) -
fada;dfn; stupid fasdm;fdn
I feel so stupid, I can't believe I got into graduate schools. I'm working on a project and my mind has fully shut down. I can't seem to do anything.
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dfnegnd by my fingernails sadfnadn
At this point in my Spring (week 9 of 10; end of the church year) I feel like I'm holding on by my fingernails and I felt like I had tried to be organized and ready for this but nope.
I am so done with choir - I need a real break, from a few people in particular... but also from the weekly rehearsals.
I feel like surely one isn't supposed to feel ( Read more... ) -
sfiaspf same shit, different decade jadsifo
I find myself really struggling with my life. I went back to school because I thought academia was the path for me, but I don't know if that's true. It's like I'm asking the same questions of myself that I did getting my undergraduate degree.
After all these years, I guess I haven't changed much... Well, I got fatter. Which 25 year old me would ( Read more... ) -
sadfgsdg what am I doing? argqngra
Since my last post in 2011... oof, I have worked for 3 different companies and 3 churches, gone back to school at 34, survived a global pandemic, completed a masters degree, enrolled in a PhD program, moved across the country, and grown to hate my PhD program, all while increasing the upper limits of how much duloxetine a human can take.
Last ( Read more... )
