Comments | onionsoupmix: I canceled the sleepover

onionsoupmix

I canceled the sleepover

Oct 15, 2011 23:42

My 8 year old was going to have a sleepover for her birthday party. It was a big deal, with lots of planning and excitement. Making cupcakes, seeing a movie, getting their nails done, etc.

We invited a few kids from the neighborhood, one of them was our secular ( possibly not Jewish?) next door neighbor's kid, a cute second grader.

Today, one of my ( Read more... )

gentiles, family, chinuch, morality, community

Comments 83

you punished her because she went along with it? stjust October 16 2011, 13:07:20 UTC

this is rather unfair.
what is it minhag sdom?
1st you put her in the school of the deranged, and then you you punish her for compliance with the very thing you really 'inflicted' on her?
imho, the right thing to do at the moment is
a- reinstate the party, (conditional on c).
b- disinvite the moronic racist girl,
c- apologise silly to the secular until she says rotsa ani.
a question for you:
what kind of secular is she? possibly not jewish u say? is that a euphemism for daughter of conservative convert?
if so, would be a good idea to adopt her
-with a view to introduce her family to humane orthodox judaism with the hope they 'correct' their conversion.- maybe this is a bit too crazy and presumptuous, but if u are truly a humane orthodox as we understand, -in itself a very brave rarity-
anything else is 'honaas hager' and you are back in the company of the fools of crown heights.

mrn613 October 16 2011, 14:53:24 UTC

IMHO you totally overreacted. I agree that you shouldn't punish your daughter so harshly for inaction, only action, like deliberately disinviting the neighbor girl. Now the next door neighbor girl's mother probably thinks you are canceling the party under pressure from the other parents who don't think her daughter is Jewish. She is sure you will be rescheduling this party with no invitation for her daughter.

gishmak October 17 2011, 23:13:38 UTC

agreed.

onionsoupmix October 18 2011, 02:21:36 UTC

Inaction is pretty bad too imo.

Happy birthday! 24816 October 16 2011, 16:15:39 UTC

When I gave birth to my oldest daughter, some other new mothers asked me not to look at their babies lest giving them bad eye with my black eyes ( ... )

ruchel October 16 2011, 16:17:40 UTC

I understand why you did it, but I also think it is too harsh, especially for a 8 yr old and a birthday thing.

When my dad was 3 or 4 he stole a 5 francs coin from his father (dad was born in early 1930's). Father said nothing, but when his bday came and the whole family arrived with gifts and cakes, he said "no birthday, no nothing! my son is a thief!". This is much harsher of course, but to me it reminds me of this type of parenting. Not necessarily wrong on the long run, but... yeah.

It seems you are vicariously... march_30 October 16 2011, 16:28:08 UTC

living out your own issues and highly conflicted state on you child's back.
To me is sounds really unfair to your daughter...

Re: It seems you are vicariously... stjust October 16 2011, 16:56:29 UTC

not really, i mean not only that!
i really think that the kid is not at fault at all.
it is the parents who are 100% at fault for exposing their kids to this so called "yiddishkeit" (more precisely narishkeit).

Re: It seems you are vicariously... onionsoupmix October 18 2011, 02:22:11 UTC

lol, thx for popping in.