Begining today, I am on a three month leave of absence from this god-forsaken place. I can't wait for next Saturday; I will get to experience a weekend for the first time in two years, and I may even see downtown (gasp) after dark ( Read more... )

Have you ever seen a midget with no hands try to pull a cell phone out of his pocket and answer it? Well I have, and it's even more funny that it sounds. (Hard to believe, but true.)

Few things in the world are more funny than a man wearing a Scarface t-shirt, while carrying his wife's sequin-covered purse.

As we were under-staffed tonight, I was called by a nurse to help with a patient. I got to forcefully hold a kid down to the bed by his head, while the nurse squirted some liquid up the kid's nose, while the kid kicked and screamed. I got far more enjoyment out of this activity than is considered "strickly appropriate."

Finished thesis, finally ( Read more... )

Advice: If you have twins, do not name them Riquaveous and Rictaveous. However, if you find yourself in said situation, it would aleviate matters if you could pronounce the names so that each sounded distinct (as if each child actually had his own name... imagine that!). Grunted noises sounding like R-aveous at each child does little for ( Read more... )

So we had this reall, really crazy chic in tonight. Whenever a total loon comes in, they put them in a particular room with a video camera in it. Security then watches them from another room across the hall on a tv monitor to make sure they don't do crazy stuff (kill themselves, eat their blanket, break shit, etc). The security guys got fed up ( Read more... )

I have never seen so many of the opposing team's fans in the ER on a gameday as I have tonight. This leads me to the conclusion that Auburn has the stupidest fans in the SEC.

I'm in a patient's room getting her registered ( Read more... )

Guy walks up to desk with a cup of Starbucks as if this is all a part of his morning routine... "Hi, I think I have gangrene in my foot."