Smosh Fic: What It Was Before (Epilogue)
Title: What It Was Before (Epilogue)
Ratng: PG-13
Pairings: Ian/Anthony, Anthony/OC
Genre/Warnings: Angst, OOC
Summary: Ian comes out of a coma caused by a car accident to find himself feeling like a stranger in his own life. Anthony struggles with the idea that his best friend had almost died.
Previous Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five
“Right here?”
“Yeah.”
“What are you doing?”
“Relax, Anthony, I just wanna check if the blood’s still here.”
“What the hell? That’s disgusting.”
“We don’t want people making clones of you, now do we?”
“Yeah, ‘cause that’s what you would do if you saw some questionable red stains in the in the grass.”
“Shut up.”
They were at the park after a long night of editing with no sleep and holding their breakfasts in their hands: morning burritos from a nearby fast food restaurant. Ian had forced Anthony to stop, begged him, practically leaping out of the car before Anthony could brake. The horizon was periwinkle blue with orange squeezing out of the tips of housetops.
“C’mon, I’m tired and this is dumb,” Anthony said, wanting to be home in bed but following Ian as he walked in circles with his head almost parallel to the ground, searching. “Let’s just sit on the bench over there.”
“In a minute,” Ian said and he took out his phone, using the white light to shine over the evergreen grass. “I want a picture of it. And it's not dumb!”
“Whatever, Ian. You could've have taken it yesterday.” Anthony stifled a yawn, ignoring the glare from Ian. They had been filming all day yesterday, lazing in the mild June weather threatening to blast into the dry heat of summer, and doing last minute things because the regular regime of producing weekly videos was hard to get used to again. It took Anthony more time now to edit than it did six months ago. He had, in a selfish way, missed the days when Ian would be the reason for their hiatus, just because it meant he didn’t need to stress over trivial things like Smosh. It gave them time for other things. “I’ll be over here.”
He sat down and watched Ian in the half darkness, yawning several times and blinking away the sleep that wiggled into his vision. The lukewarm burrito in his hand looking less and less important as the need to rest took over hunger. But he kept his eyes open, waiting for Ian as he stomped around in the grass, frustration under his breath.
“You find it, man?” Anthony asked when Ian plopped down beside him, food eaten and wrapper balled in his fist. Ian shook his head and sighed defeated, resting his cheek against Anthony’s shoulder.
"Oh well." He felt Ian’s hand along his forearm, fingers splayed and smooth over his skin. “Man, your nose would not stop bleeding” Ian recalled, laughing, “We're lucky we got everything done.”
“Hey, it's your fault for hitting me in the face with that stupid sword,” Anthony laughed too, letting his chin sink into Ian’s thick hair. He closed his eyes and breathed, the warm smell of Ian filling him up. Anthony's whole body hummed with tingling agreement, basking in it and liking the warm body beside him. If life let him, he wouldn’t mind being frozen like this forever.
"Sorry," Ian apologized, grinning cheekily, “But it made a better scene, didn’t it?”
“Mm-hmm,” he agreed, feeling his tired mind drift away slowly. The unwrapped burrito fell from his grasp beside him.
A cool spring breeze picked up, fluttered around them and caressed the curves of their limbs with ribbons of softness. A sheet of rich golden light spilled over them, nudging the night away with beauty. Anthony felt Ian mold into him until he didn’t know whose hand was holding whose and whether it was his breath or Ian’s that came out in a long contented sigh.
Maybe if he wished hard enough, this moment could still and allow him to live in it for an eternity.
But, of course, Ian would decide to break the ease as he so often did. Ian sat up straight and let go a deep breath. Anthony’s shoulder felt suddenly extremely lonely. There was a troubling thoughtful expression chasing away Ian's smile.
“Two blocks from here,” Ian said simply, a finger pointing east and voice soft. “That’s where it happened… right?”
He turned his head to look at Anthony, like a child asking an innocent question, pleading for an answer.
Anthony hesitated, his gaze growing hard but he replied, “Yeah.”
Ian’s grip became tight as a contemplative look crossed over his face. The blue of his eyes looked almost weightless in the light of the rising sun. Anthony decided then, even though Ian hadn’t shaved and his hair was in a mess of array with sleep weighing him down, and even if he was speaking of things the two never really liked to think back on, his best friend still proved to be something more than beautiful. And it troubled Anthony to know Ian could so easy slip back into those moments of darkness.
“What’s up, man?” he whispered, prodding the pinching fingers to relax. “What’s on your mind?”
Ian bit his lip and turned to stare ahead again. It took a moment for him to speak, “On the road, before it happened… I was going to tell you that I… that…” Ian suggested, the words not coming out and his neck turning red, “You know.”
Anthony nodded and grinned knowingly. “Yeah?” He pressed his forehead against the side of Ian’s face, nudging his nose into the groove of Ian’s neck. He would never grow tired of the smell and feel of Ian. “Why are you bringing this up again?”
He felt Ian shrug. “I dunno,” he said, leaning back to allow more of him to Anthony. “I was just wondering… if that never happened… what would’ve happened?”
Anthony let Ian’s thought weigh inside of his head for a minute, thinking of a response. “I’d probably still be with Makayla,” he said truthfully for once and again, he felt Ian’s fingers tighten around his. “But I’m not. So… whatever, Ian.”
Ian nodded as silence enveloped them. The other boy sighed several times and Anthony had to resist rolling his eyes, knowing Ian was still thinking about the time before.
He didn't blame Ian though. Everything that had happened to Ian, to them, was too hard and too good to forget. The tragedy of the situation was soothed over by the slow healing that couldn't come sooner. It was a long process and there had been days when the idea of together, of being more than friends, of letting these strong feelings run wild, scared both of them.
But they would always find each other and pull each other together again because Ian had this tight, never-letting-go hold on Anthony's growing heart and Anthony didn't want it beating in any other hand.
“So…” Ian started curiously, breaking the quiet, “How’s Makayla?”
Anthony pushed Ian lightly, a little exasperated and picked up the forgotten burrito. “We saw her last week remember?” he explained, tossing the now cold food up and down in his free hand. He was too tired to eat. “She’s going on that backpacking trip to Europe or something.”
“Right, right,” Ian said absently and Anthony felt the other shift his eyes towards him.
He tossed the burrito at Ian, earning him a yelp of surprise. “Spit it out, Ian. What do you really wanna ask me?”
“Oh, it’s nothing.” He waved Anthony away, throwing the burrito back. “Never mind.”
Anthony huffed, smacking his friend repeatedly atop the head with the poor burrito. “Bitch, we’re not doing this again. You better tell me, or I swear, I’ll-”
“Okay, okay!” Ian cried, shielding himself from Anthony’s attack. He protested, saying burritos were food, not weapons. They laughed together, mouths wide open and loud, and Anthony waited until the moment passed and Ian grew serious again. He shrugged, frowning and picking at the hem of his shorts. Anthony squeezed his hand, urging him to go on. Finally, when sun was completely out of the shadows of the night and glared blazingly upon them, Ian asked, “Did you… love her?”
Anthony looked at Ian whose eyes were closed in a cringe, as if Anthony was going to smack or hurt him again. He sighed and nodded solemnly to himself. He would answer Ian this time.
“I did.”
Ian’s tense shoulders fell and his fingers around Anthony’s loosened. “Oh…” he mumbled, defeat and sadness swimming in his eyes. Anthony pulled his friend closer, not agreeing to the sudden far distance between them.
They had been through so much together. From Anthony feeling helpless when Ian had flown in the sky and landed in a heap fifteen feet away, to seeing how everyday Ian would try again and again and never give up; it shook Anthony’s core with amazement because he had never been so proud and so glad to love somebody so strong.
“But that was a long time ago…” Anthony began and pressed his lips to Ian’s in reassurance, taking them forceful and hungry even though Ian refused a little bit. He smirked and whispered, sultrily, “… And before I jerked you off in the hospital, remember?”
Anthony didn’t see, but felt Ian blush hot and fight not to laugh as their lips met again. Warmth suffused from the middle of Anthony’s chest down to the tips of his toes, swirling and burning as he let his body melt against Ian’s. He let a hand wander to the inside of Ian’s thigh, rubbing circles and he smiled into the kiss when Ian moaned. His heart beat full and strong and Anthony felt Ian's beat exactly the same.
They pulled away just when Ian started to kiss back. His mouth gaped open incoherently and tried again to catch Anthony’s mouth. But Anthony moved, smiling goofy and absorbing every detail of Ian's sunlit face.
And now he was glad everything was better than what it was before. They were better friends, lovers now and Anthony was unafraid of almost anything as long as Ian was by his side. Anthony didn’t have to settle to keeping Ian an arms length away. He didn't have to be afraid to want Ian and to love him. And the myriad of conflicting and confusing emotions, they fell into a place of calm and sense. Anthony was happy with what they had now, happier than ever before.
“So,” he whispered teasingly, taking Ian’s hand and feeling so incredibly bold and exactly where he needed to be. Ian raised a questioning brow, leaning in close. “Did you love me?”
And Ian smiled a smile Anthony would never ever forget.
“Yeah,” he said, “Yeah, I do."
Side story: Reason
Want more Smosh slash?
Ratng: PG-13
Pairings: Ian/Anthony, Anthony/OC
Genre/Warnings: Angst, OOC
Summary: Ian comes out of a coma caused by a car accident to find himself feeling like a stranger in his own life. Anthony struggles with the idea that his best friend had almost died.
Previous Chapters: One, Two, Three, Four, Five
“Right here?”
“Yeah.”
“What are you doing?”
“Relax, Anthony, I just wanna check if the blood’s still here.”
“What the hell? That’s disgusting.”
“We don’t want people making clones of you, now do we?”
“Yeah, ‘cause that’s what you would do if you saw some questionable red stains in the in the grass.”
“Shut up.”
They were at the park after a long night of editing with no sleep and holding their breakfasts in their hands: morning burritos from a nearby fast food restaurant. Ian had forced Anthony to stop, begged him, practically leaping out of the car before Anthony could brake. The horizon was periwinkle blue with orange squeezing out of the tips of housetops.
“C’mon, I’m tired and this is dumb,” Anthony said, wanting to be home in bed but following Ian as he walked in circles with his head almost parallel to the ground, searching. “Let’s just sit on the bench over there.”
“In a minute,” Ian said and he took out his phone, using the white light to shine over the evergreen grass. “I want a picture of it. And it's not dumb!”
“Whatever, Ian. You could've have taken it yesterday.” Anthony stifled a yawn, ignoring the glare from Ian. They had been filming all day yesterday, lazing in the mild June weather threatening to blast into the dry heat of summer, and doing last minute things because the regular regime of producing weekly videos was hard to get used to again. It took Anthony more time now to edit than it did six months ago. He had, in a selfish way, missed the days when Ian would be the reason for their hiatus, just because it meant he didn’t need to stress over trivial things like Smosh. It gave them time for other things. “I’ll be over here.”
He sat down and watched Ian in the half darkness, yawning several times and blinking away the sleep that wiggled into his vision. The lukewarm burrito in his hand looking less and less important as the need to rest took over hunger. But he kept his eyes open, waiting for Ian as he stomped around in the grass, frustration under his breath.
“You find it, man?” Anthony asked when Ian plopped down beside him, food eaten and wrapper balled in his fist. Ian shook his head and sighed defeated, resting his cheek against Anthony’s shoulder.
"Oh well." He felt Ian’s hand along his forearm, fingers splayed and smooth over his skin. “Man, your nose would not stop bleeding” Ian recalled, laughing, “We're lucky we got everything done.”
“Hey, it's your fault for hitting me in the face with that stupid sword,” Anthony laughed too, letting his chin sink into Ian’s thick hair. He closed his eyes and breathed, the warm smell of Ian filling him up. Anthony's whole body hummed with tingling agreement, basking in it and liking the warm body beside him. If life let him, he wouldn’t mind being frozen like this forever.
"Sorry," Ian apologized, grinning cheekily, “But it made a better scene, didn’t it?”
“Mm-hmm,” he agreed, feeling his tired mind drift away slowly. The unwrapped burrito fell from his grasp beside him.
A cool spring breeze picked up, fluttered around them and caressed the curves of their limbs with ribbons of softness. A sheet of rich golden light spilled over them, nudging the night away with beauty. Anthony felt Ian mold into him until he didn’t know whose hand was holding whose and whether it was his breath or Ian’s that came out in a long contented sigh.
Maybe if he wished hard enough, this moment could still and allow him to live in it for an eternity.
But, of course, Ian would decide to break the ease as he so often did. Ian sat up straight and let go a deep breath. Anthony’s shoulder felt suddenly extremely lonely. There was a troubling thoughtful expression chasing away Ian's smile.
“Two blocks from here,” Ian said simply, a finger pointing east and voice soft. “That’s where it happened… right?”
He turned his head to look at Anthony, like a child asking an innocent question, pleading for an answer.
Anthony hesitated, his gaze growing hard but he replied, “Yeah.”
Ian’s grip became tight as a contemplative look crossed over his face. The blue of his eyes looked almost weightless in the light of the rising sun. Anthony decided then, even though Ian hadn’t shaved and his hair was in a mess of array with sleep weighing him down, and even if he was speaking of things the two never really liked to think back on, his best friend still proved to be something more than beautiful. And it troubled Anthony to know Ian could so easy slip back into those moments of darkness.
“What’s up, man?” he whispered, prodding the pinching fingers to relax. “What’s on your mind?”
Ian bit his lip and turned to stare ahead again. It took a moment for him to speak, “On the road, before it happened… I was going to tell you that I… that…” Ian suggested, the words not coming out and his neck turning red, “You know.”
Anthony nodded and grinned knowingly. “Yeah?” He pressed his forehead against the side of Ian’s face, nudging his nose into the groove of Ian’s neck. He would never grow tired of the smell and feel of Ian. “Why are you bringing this up again?”
He felt Ian shrug. “I dunno,” he said, leaning back to allow more of him to Anthony. “I was just wondering… if that never happened… what would’ve happened?”
Anthony let Ian’s thought weigh inside of his head for a minute, thinking of a response. “I’d probably still be with Makayla,” he said truthfully for once and again, he felt Ian’s fingers tighten around his. “But I’m not. So… whatever, Ian.”
Ian nodded as silence enveloped them. The other boy sighed several times and Anthony had to resist rolling his eyes, knowing Ian was still thinking about the time before.
He didn't blame Ian though. Everything that had happened to Ian, to them, was too hard and too good to forget. The tragedy of the situation was soothed over by the slow healing that couldn't come sooner. It was a long process and there had been days when the idea of together, of being more than friends, of letting these strong feelings run wild, scared both of them.
But they would always find each other and pull each other together again because Ian had this tight, never-letting-go hold on Anthony's growing heart and Anthony didn't want it beating in any other hand.
“So…” Ian started curiously, breaking the quiet, “How’s Makayla?”
Anthony pushed Ian lightly, a little exasperated and picked up the forgotten burrito. “We saw her last week remember?” he explained, tossing the now cold food up and down in his free hand. He was too tired to eat. “She’s going on that backpacking trip to Europe or something.”
“Right, right,” Ian said absently and Anthony felt the other shift his eyes towards him.
He tossed the burrito at Ian, earning him a yelp of surprise. “Spit it out, Ian. What do you really wanna ask me?”
“Oh, it’s nothing.” He waved Anthony away, throwing the burrito back. “Never mind.”
Anthony huffed, smacking his friend repeatedly atop the head with the poor burrito. “Bitch, we’re not doing this again. You better tell me, or I swear, I’ll-”
“Okay, okay!” Ian cried, shielding himself from Anthony’s attack. He protested, saying burritos were food, not weapons. They laughed together, mouths wide open and loud, and Anthony waited until the moment passed and Ian grew serious again. He shrugged, frowning and picking at the hem of his shorts. Anthony squeezed his hand, urging him to go on. Finally, when sun was completely out of the shadows of the night and glared blazingly upon them, Ian asked, “Did you… love her?”
Anthony looked at Ian whose eyes were closed in a cringe, as if Anthony was going to smack or hurt him again. He sighed and nodded solemnly to himself. He would answer Ian this time.
“I did.”
Ian’s tense shoulders fell and his fingers around Anthony’s loosened. “Oh…” he mumbled, defeat and sadness swimming in his eyes. Anthony pulled his friend closer, not agreeing to the sudden far distance between them.
They had been through so much together. From Anthony feeling helpless when Ian had flown in the sky and landed in a heap fifteen feet away, to seeing how everyday Ian would try again and again and never give up; it shook Anthony’s core with amazement because he had never been so proud and so glad to love somebody so strong.
“But that was a long time ago…” Anthony began and pressed his lips to Ian’s in reassurance, taking them forceful and hungry even though Ian refused a little bit. He smirked and whispered, sultrily, “… And before I jerked you off in the hospital, remember?”
Anthony didn’t see, but felt Ian blush hot and fight not to laugh as their lips met again. Warmth suffused from the middle of Anthony’s chest down to the tips of his toes, swirling and burning as he let his body melt against Ian’s. He let a hand wander to the inside of Ian’s thigh, rubbing circles and he smiled into the kiss when Ian moaned. His heart beat full and strong and Anthony felt Ian's beat exactly the same.
They pulled away just when Ian started to kiss back. His mouth gaped open incoherently and tried again to catch Anthony’s mouth. But Anthony moved, smiling goofy and absorbing every detail of Ian's sunlit face.
And now he was glad everything was better than what it was before. They were better friends, lovers now and Anthony was unafraid of almost anything as long as Ian was by his side. Anthony didn’t have to settle to keeping Ian an arms length away. He didn't have to be afraid to want Ian and to love him. And the myriad of conflicting and confusing emotions, they fell into a place of calm and sense. Anthony was happy with what they had now, happier than ever before.
“So,” he whispered teasingly, taking Ian’s hand and feeling so incredibly bold and exactly where he needed to be. Ian raised a questioning brow, leaning in close. “Did you love me?”
And Ian smiled a smile Anthony would never ever forget.
“Yeah,” he said, “Yeah, I do."
Side story: Reason
Want more Smosh slash?