Okay, here's the crackfic, although I warn you that its suckitude exceeds that of anything else I've ever written.
ON THAT NOTE, here it is.
Title: Diary of an Evacuee
Author: Melanie (
vogirl78)
Pairing: just Elijah, no pairing
Rating: G for Grossness in the first part
Summary: Elijah is inexplicably living somewhere in Southwest Louisiana, because that
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