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To the Universe, if you read LiveJournal
As I have accused, tried, and convicted you of abandoning me, with empiracl evidence to prove that you have, so have I chosen to abandon you. To no longer pray, or have faith that you will watch over me. As I grow old, my desires diminish, and the only goal I wished for, was a to have a beautiful wife, and a family of my own.
So, I am now ready to ( Read more... ) -
I am alone and lonely.
So, I just had a weekend to myself. No friends, no family, no one. Just an empty house.
Though I did go out and enjoy some riding on my motorcycle, I hardly had any human interaction. I keep justifying to myself that until I am back to some financial stability, meaning I am no longer behind on my bills, I would open up a bit, and go out and do ( Read more... ) -
The single life
So, I am at my favorite Friday night hangout; Pug Mahone 's. After a few drinks, my depression starts kicking in a bit. Its because I am single.
I used to describe it as a disease, a curse, because I didn't want to be single. Now I describe my loneliness as having gone through the 5 stages grief.
1st was denial; my denial that I am unwanted, ( Read more... ) -
One the egde of the cliff between mediocrity and lonliness, or self-destruction!
Its been a while, but I figured I would revisit my online livejournal profile, as I feel compelled to write something that I don't feel like sharing on Facebook ( Read more... ) -
Thoughts of suicide.
No I'm not suicidal. But I have had thoughts are on the subject. It's certainly awkward to think about at 23:00 when I'm trying to get some sleep. But I think it's best to find an outlet like LiveJournal, where my friend count is almost non-existing. Likewise, posting this thought on Facebook may send a wrong message to those who call me friend ( Read more... ) -
Dating 101: How to fail at meeting a woman, dating, and coming off as a the guy who will stay single
2 weeks ago, I had a great date with a girl named Anna. She is Polish, educated, and successful, with a daughter. She is also disciplined, and likes to take care of herself. Due to weather concerns, I had to plan B our date. We went to the north side of Chicago and caught the Blue Man Group at the Briar Street Theater. We also did some walking ( Read more... ) -
I'm in fear for my freedom
I feel compelled to write an article regarding the recent events surrounding police shootings that have made it into the news ( Read more... ) -
Defending a friend, from a group of friends!
Recently, my friend Brian asked our mutual group of friends; known as the Minions of Chaos, for crash space at WindyCon this year. He posted it on the Minions forum on Facebook. No one responded to his request. So he posted a line on the forum saying "Thanks for the support. I know who my friends are now" which was graced with members of the group ( Read more... ) -
Choices, those we make, those we pay for
I have been going through some difficult times lately ( Read more... ) -
What is wrong with me???
Since I was conscious enough to remember, I always wondered what was wrong with me? I was physically abused as a child, by family and peers. Traumatized, for reasons that have eluded me...but from the only conclusion that I can come up with; for the sheer enjoyment of the abusers. It resulted in my exile from an undefined normal upbringing, to ( Read more... )