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Hey
Happy Birthday to me!!!
I'm 19 today!!!! -
"If you're going to erase the pains in my heart, then go right ahead and kill me"
There's a gaping hole inside me, that I noticed tonight while I was taking a shower... I don't know where it came from but I'm scared... Scared that I'm going to be losing something important soon... I can't take another loss in my life right now... I'm too unstable as it is... I only hope I don't screw things up with Christina because I think ( Read more... ) -
"So if you care to find me look to the western sky!"
Life is just wonderful... Since when did a boyfriend more important to a parent than the parent's children? When did I become looked over? Unloved by my mother? Since when have I failed as a human being? Just... Someone tell me when I lost it and how I can get it back. Please... -
"If I don't need you then why am I crying on my bed?"
Christmas... The time of joy and family. Not in my house... Spent the morning opening gifts, getting yelled at, ordered around. The usual thing. I got:
The last books I was missing in the Anita Blake Series:
Blue Moon, Obsidian Butterfly, Narcissus in Chains
Strange Candy by Laurell K. Hamilton
Mistral's Kiss by Laurell K. Hamilton, book 5 in the ( Read more... ) -
"Un-harmed, I'm losing weight and some body heat"
Well I was promised that I'd get to talk to her after her exams. She spent the night out. I fell alseep when we were texting and when I got up and responded, she ignored me. So I brought it up before going to bed. I was the innocent one, yet it is all my fault. This is why I don't like promises anymore. I'm the fucking one there for convience ( Read more... ) -
"To sodomy, it's between God and me... to S&M... La vie Boheme..."
Well, homework, thinking, decisions, dealing with emotional girlfriend. I love her so, but she's going to bitch and cry when she does bad in school for not doing her homework. She was supposed to do it today but she really didn't. I can't keep prodding. I can't keep myself sane as it is. I keep lapsing into apathetic bouts. I've become anti- ( Read more... ) -
"Come look at what your brother did, to that girl's, precious, little whore of a body..."
Meh... Denied again for a loan. I love trying to call home and it just rings and rings. Sure, she's keeping the damn mailbox full so my bastard aunt and uncle don't call. But gee, what if I was Daemen College calling to say that something awful had happened to her daughter and they couldn't get through. Fucking wonderful huh? *sighs* I hate ( Read more... ) -
"You, you want nothing to do with me..."
Went to the crappy Halloween party at Daemen last night. Got yelled at and threatened by many people to go. So I went as a 'geisha' or 'massuesse'. Froze, but whatever, right? Haven't talked to anyone in a while. After the party, tried to do homework, and Steph came up. We picked out movies and watched until she got a phone call. While ( Read more... ) -
"I'm in a car underwater with time to kill, thinking back I forgot to tell you this..."
Well things are going just as wonderful. I might not even be able to finish out my first year at Daemen. So that leaves me with getting a loan and applying and moving to ASU, or moving back home to be miserable for the rest of my life with my mother... ASU will be cheaper if I get residency... I give up? I need to not think about it... After ( Read more... ) -
"It's true romance dead, I shot it chest and the head..."
Well I realize that my mother hates me. She now only calls me to yell at me for things I can't control. Wonderful huh? Didn't want to hear about the Comparative Politics mid term that I got a 90 on, or the French mid term that I got an 83 on. Or my Composition class that's about a soild B. Just to yell, then hang up. Love my life. So now I ( Read more... )