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Its been nearly a year
The calendar says its been nearly a year s, but affter rereading it seems like a lifetime.Many things have happpened , many more hurdles , obstacles pain and despair. But also has come belonging , love , and family of choice. Some moments have been overwelmin both for joy and despair. The mirrors of the 2 cauising spectrums of dim and dark ( Read more... ) -
How do you know your going crazy if your already on your way?
So if the ink test answers are a precalulatory measure of sanity based on the answers...what happens when everything you see is either one thing or another or perhaps 2 or 3 ? A chipping of paint on a bathroom door that resembles an angel. the perfect positioning of spots on a speck painted wall that spells out your name ? A leaf lying on the pool ( Read more... ) -
Chaos and Calm
Ya know .. this life really is a strange mixture of chaos and calm. I told a friend earlier that you can't enjoy calm unless you have experienced chaos , or something like that. As the day wore on it seems like one doesnt exist without the other. I reread my post fromthe other day and was thinking how absolutely insane things are . If anyone ( Read more... ) -
Breaking Point
Anyway, here's the big scary truth that collided with me head on this morning: my normal healthy mature coping skills have been strained to the breaking point. I have maxed out on troubles. One more tiny tribulation could send me sailing straight through the windshield of reality.
Sometimes I come across web sites that make me so angry I want to ( Read more... ) -
Bouncing between the poles
I cant figure out why I am so discombobulated today. Such a gross degree of emotions . Volcanic actually. And a gazzillion thoughts leading to nothing. Like a million conversations a minute and not speaking a word. Music , Lyrics , sounds , words , bringing both poles of comfort and anger/sadness/ fear. I went for walkabout today trying to break ( Read more... ) -
What is all this ??
Well , i started thinking about all of this on Sunay , and thought ok maybe I need to just use the tape recorder and get it all out. So .. I di .. So here I am .. if i get it all in words maybe it will help sort it out. press play and here it goes :
"ok pressed record hope this is working , but if notthen i guess im just a fool talking to ( Read more... ) -
Another Step ... but just where am I going???
ramblings of a mad woman .....and then it was gone . -
Where The Sidewalk Ends
WTF!
If I could type fast enough all of the things running through my mind would still be running 2 years from now. The things that are happening around me I JUST DONT GET!!! what the hell is going on? In the night did the Earth fall off its axis and this is what havoc is before it becomes extinct? How can so much love and care come from ( Read more... ) -
waiting for the train
In the distance you hear the rumble , you feel the earth shake at first slightly , increasing in rythym and volume . Your heart starts to race when you realize that its just around the bend . You look out across the distance and you see the puff of smoke . You inhale with anticipation.Counting the beats of the rythm that is bouncing below your feet ( Read more... ) -
Im not an Animal I am SANTAAAAAA CLAUS !!
Ok , that just might be a location joke ..( ya know had to have been there kinda thing) The last few weeks have been the most incredible spiro blasted coaster ride I have ridden in YEARS!!! Something to be said about making the most of everyday. I have not felt this carefree in most of my adult life. This has been the single most spectacular ( Read more... )