Dear Diary:
May I take you out to dinner?

Dear Diary:
( You know you've become a real celebrity when they make a doll in your honor. )

Dear Diary:
When I asked for a partner-in-crime, I didn't think it would be taken quite literally.

Dear Diary:
I think I'm falling in loaves.

Dear Diary:
It would be nice if summer lasted forever.

Dear Diary:
When you're floating on air, legs become completely useless.
I'm thinking of chopping mine off and donating them to a body farm.

Dear Diary:
Today I ate liver, rice, coconut meat, ice cream, chicken, fruit, agar, and lots and lots of butterflies.

Dear Diary:
Happiness is a warm email.

Dear Diary:
Charlie Brown said nothing took the taste out of a peanut butter sandwich quite like unrequited love.
I am inclined to agree with him at six in the morning, whilst typing away on a cold fish of a computer.

Dear Diary:
There's a hole in my heart that can only be filled by ewe.