Poring over these old journal entries, as I sit on my comfortably worn couch in the living room of the tiny apartment I share with my fiancé and our two small dogs, I can't help but be astounded at how much my life has changed in the past three years. I have matured so much since I started my livejournal--I have lived so much. I had almost ( Read more... )

It is amazing how fast I went from truly happy in my life and okay with who I am to completely lost and empty and scared. Thanks a lot, perfect storm of bullshit that entered my life. Thanks a lot, AA sponsor who told me everything that was wrong with me in a small room with no windows for eight hours. Thanks a lot, going off adipex after two ( Read more... )

I don't know when it ended, but it's over.

I love Sharon Haley.

It's time to wake up.

It's not possible to turn back time. Sometimes I wish I could more than anything. But, it does no good. It does only harm. I need to learn to live in this moment. To appreciate the good in this moment, because it's there. Inside my head can be a crazy, scary place. I have to fight for myself, for my sanity. And I will. I am going to fight.

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Greg. You never felt for me half of what I felt for you. And why? Because you're not crazy? Perhaps.
Dane. I have loved you and will continue to love you dearly. You are my family, you are my guiding light.

I'm ready for this to be over. I'm ready to be a grown up. I am ready to stop crying and start accepting. Life is a fucking mess and things don't always work out for the best. But that's what is in front of me, and that's what I've got to accept so I can move on. I am only sorry for any pain or hurt or disappointment I've caused. The rest of ( Read more... )