Wow!  It has been some time since I have last updated this thing.

My time away has been great, and much appreciated.  I didn't really go anywhere, just stayed in good 'ol Rancho Cucamonga, but I took time to sort things out.  It would be a lie to say that I was not really depressed; my previous entries show that pretty well.  After, taking the ( Read more... )

I need to search within myself for what I really want.  I need to go away for a while, just to help this all make sense.  I wish I had the right words to say, to make it all ok again.  It seems like no matter how hard I try, I still can't save you.  It's killing me inside.  The smiles have gone from our faces, and there is no longer any trace of ( Read more... )

Earlier tonight I had an epiphany while listening to Angels and Airwaves in the car.  It happened while listening to this song.

Start The Machine

The ash set in then blew away
It’s getting lost into the sea
I grew so close to all the thoughts I had to leave forever
I left the chill and voice of screams and kids and ran for shelter

You know I won't ( Read more... )

Well I guess that my dad would rather spend Father's Day with his girlfriend in Sacramento than with his kids here.  I didn't really expect much more, I never do from him.  It makes my mom sad that I can't have any expectations of my dad, when little does she know that I also no longer have any expectations of her.  I've found that whenever I do ( Read more... )

Saturday: My brother, Kevin's, B-Day and the day of my sister's surgery.  I went shopping with my mom for presents, late I know but the past couple of weeks were kinda hectic.  It was extremely hot and we couldn't find anyhting.  Went to lunch with my brother and dad for Kevin's B-Day, went to Best Buy and got some CDs: The Fall of Troy, Minus the ( Read more... )

It's been a while since I've updated.  Here's what's been going on:

• I was really sick for a couple of weeks, got antibiotics, and am sick again after just finishing the antibiotics like a week ago.  I seriously hate my sinuses at this point.
• No school for two weeks while I was sick.
• I got my haircut finally about a week ago. 
• My ( Read more... )

    Long time, no update. I've been really sick this past week or so. Apparently god decided to give me everything at once because I got a sinus infection, tosilitis, and an ear infection. My lymph nodes were so swollen in my neck that I couldn't move it. Well I'm better now.

I'm going through a lonely time right now.  I feel like I have no ( Read more... )

The more people I talk to that live near me, the more I realize that it is hard to find real, genuine people around here. Your friends will drop you with no apparent reason, and people are constantly juding others. Last year, I was so wrapped up in all of the drama with friends, but the best thing I ever did was remove myself from that. I was ( Read more... )

1. If you were going to write a movie about yourself what would be the title and who would play you? If I were to write a movie about myself, I would name it "Always up or Down". This is tough, and that's the first thing that came to mind. Thanks TAI. Hmmmm, who would play me?? I've been told that I look like Lindsay Lohan before she got super ( Read more... )

It's been a pretty good week. I have been a lot more positive, and optimistic. I am comfortable with myself now more than ever. I am definitely looking forward to the future. I love the mystery of life. I used to hate it, but now I have come to appreciate it. I love waking up every morning not knowing what will happen that day. I feel like I ( Read more... )