Since I started this journal in April there have been some major events and changes in my life. Most of which have been documented here. So much has changed that I feel like a different person. Looking back over what I've written in difficult to believe just how things can change in a few months. I've decided to kill this journal. There is some ( Read more... )

I am. I'm the most fucked up person ever. Why can't I be happy?

I try and try. And for what? Nothing ever changes. I just want to give up.

I want Jen. But she doesn't want me back. Why would she?

First time I've cried in months. I'm so manly.

I think I've managed to calm down. But I'm still confused and worried. Jen is one of those people that, I can't really put it into words, she's just brilliant. Clever, pretty, sarcastic, confident, honest, funny, sweet in a non-obvious way, generally just the type of person you hope to be. I like her. Alot. And for some reason she seemed to like me ( Read more... )

.......a kick to the bollocks. That'll teach the rich bastard.

( A tall tale told by a tall tale teller. Who is tall.... )

...........I replied: Generally in the bedroom with my knees slightly bent.

( The story is in the telling... )

So that's what rock bottom feels like. That was the closest I've ever been to going over the edge completely. Everything was just building up to last night. Jen, my dad, the drop back into clinical depression (hello anti-depressants! I've missed you!), the whole she-bang. I'm worried about just how far I would have gone. Would I be posting this if ( Read more... )

So...yeah...I'll be setting my security to friends only. If you want to be added. As long as I have a fair idea who you are, I'll add you. You're not really missing much, just a collection of rants. Actually you're missing out on lots of witty informative banter but I wanted to spare your feelings ( Read more... )