You dont need to apologize about the whole me thing im sorry too i fucked everything up bad and i cant believe i lost you for someone that just hurt me like everyother time....it wasnt different it never will be with me and him. I am sorry though too and i dont know who your talking about...which sucks i feel like i dont even know you anymore..you ( Read more... )

So you come one weekend get all into me then you say you love me and are so glad you could see me and hold me again. Now your avoiding me after i take my pants off. You are the most ruthless asshole scum bag currently that i know. I txt you and say its ok you dont care and thanks for making my birthday amazing. Really you made it horrible and i was ( Read more... )

My life that i call a reality is now a growing plain that is full of picked away scabs, poison anguish, and permanent difficulty.  I feel like dying, and all that is left is a song of dead pathetic words that I find somehow irritating to purge back up. I also found out today why I like smoking cigarettes when I’m depressed. The reason is because ( Read more... )

 Patrick Playtime : The Soundtrack

(Songs on Zen put on shuffle through)

Opening Credits: Paul Oakenfold - Unfinished Sympathy
Waking Up: SKy Eats Airplane - She is just A glitch
Average Day: DDG - Fashion your seatbelt
First Date: Haddaway - What Is Love
Falling In Love: Jonas Brothers - S.O.S
Love Scene: Bring Me The Horizon - Black & Blue
Fight Scene: ( Read more... )

Were going backward; 
I cant feel whats forward and ahead,
All my thoughts are cluttering,
Collecting themselves like a shelf,
Waiting to just rott themselves away,
But this has to be different,
I feel myself being set free,
Unleashing  a proper peice of me,
And when i stop to think,
Your there in front of me,
I dont have to wish for you,
We have that ( Read more... )

I want to lead a life thats happy, and not this difficult. Call me 'psycho', 'challenged', unforgivable. This is me. I have daily struggles, maybe more severe then others around me but I'm doing my fucking best. I know deep down im try so hard, it just sucks because im not getting much achieved. I can see myself fading into the distance.

Let me ( Read more... )

So i've been so blah lately. I reconnected with an old druggie friend today. She's clean like me today though because she runs now and went to to like a boot camp. So times change like madd crazy its nuts. Also me and my old ex are talking and im worried to give him another chance...im getting the vibe he wants one but its so hard to trust people ( Read more... )

My boyfriend broke up with me today on the phone.

Its fine. He's an ass, i was being honest like your supposed to in a relationship. I'll get over it. Not a big deal. I still have feelings for two people...my life again isnt great. I just wished one of them loved me back. I dont care if it isnt real perfect love just want one of them to feel me in ( Read more... )

I'm having a really difficult time managing my sober lifestyle with my social and emotional life. Everything is so much to handle and its so hard. I AM A DRUG ADDICT. Since, i was early 11 yrs old i started to use ecstasy. Then i got worse and heavier and heavier, now dealing with everyday tasks like sleeping, eating, bathing, any life thing i have ( Read more... )

I like to bleed with you as an intent,
Its the ultimate invitation to feed,
Dripping your gore-gous kisses
Leaving marks without regrets,
I can feel myself weighed down,
With the carpet earth underneath me,
And the feet you sweep me off of,
No antidote to help me fully swallow it,
Just a choking of chipped teeth,
And a perfect nausea to accent this,
My heart ( Read more... )