Eleven months since I've seen your face. It's unbearable. I'm at home alone tonite. Twigger called, Fred went, I can't bear to face anyone myself. Want to spend a nite with you talking, remembering. I miss you so damn much, it's killing a biggs part of me (wow, I used some humor there). I'm listening to your old tapes and cd's. Damn it baby, I listen to you playing your drums, to the music you set to life. Knowing inside how much you kept so many things together that I see falling apart now. I don't know how to save the things you built. I just don't have the magic you had. I miss you so damn much Dare. I just want to see your face again. Just want to hug you one more time. I never got a "last hug" goodbye. Guess I wouldn't have accepted it as "last" anyway. I'm dying inside, and it's showing in every part of my life. Don't know how to keep things together anymore, without you. I love you so much Dare, so much.
I saw you last week at Allie's graduation. I'm sure you were right next to her as she walked across the stage and did a "hands up". I know you are proud of her. She is a beautiful person D. She misses you. We all do!
Aurora is growing like a weed. She can give a eyebrow shot that looks exactly like one of your looks. She's beautiful.
Happy Fathers Daybiggs_maJune 19 2005, 20:52:06 UTC
Happy fathers day D-Bear! This would be your first. She is so much like you baby. She's absolutely beautiful. If I could give you a gift, I would let you hold her, bouce her on your knee, hug her tight against you and feel her cheek pressed against yours, then you could kiss her on the neck and hear her giggle and see her sweet smile. I'd let you smell her when she's just come out of her bath, and she's wrapped in a towel and her skin smells so sweet and pure. I'd let you run your hand across her hair and feel how soft it is. Let you see her little teeth, she has 3, 4 very soon, and she grinds them just like you used to when you were a baby. Let her get a grip on your shirt when your holding her like she never wants you to put her down. Let you see how her little lips tremble when she's upset, the let you wipe away one of her tears. Let you look each other in the eyes, and even though she can only say mama, you know she's saying "Happy Fathers Day. I love you Daddy."
Happy Father's Day
anonymous
June 20 2005, 00:24:49 UTC
We've been thinking of you a lot today. You'd be so proud of your beautiful baby daughter. I can see the smile on your face as you're holding her. I promise she'll always know you.
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Aurora is growing like a weed. She can give a eyebrow shot that looks exactly like one of your looks. She's beautiful.
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