Why is god so fucking evil?

I feel as if my life is ending. Ugh. I have no idea what to do with myself.

Why does life feel like one giant mind fuck?

I want to tell the world to fuck off.
I want you to feel pain and I want you to hurt.

Maybe this makes me a bad person but I don't really give a fuck, anymore.
About anything.

What the fuck is going on in my head.
I like it, but I don't.

I hate feeling lost in MY OWN FUCKING SKIN.

People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. Their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messed cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.


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I want to move out of the state ASAP.
I want to start living life.
I want to have fun... I need a new adventure.

... new adventure starts soon.
I got into EMU :)

I feel confused.
I feel sick.

Why do I do these things to myself?

Why can't I be stronger?

I wish I could be happy, if only for a day.
I hate the way I feel.
I wish I could turn off my thinking.
I wish I could turn off life, for a day.
Maybe a fucking month.

fuckkkkkkk this.

i am...
losing my mind.

and i am just fine with this.