http://livejournal.com/users/fernside

you should know that my arm is healing up well.
salt, hydrogen peroxide, ibuprofen, bandages.

and yet i wonder endlessly, "why was it different? and what was it about me that was apparently just so fucking unloveable?"

i'm so perplexed.

I'm undecided about you again
Mightn't be right that you're not here
It's double-sided, cause I ruined it all
-But also saved myself, by never believing you, Dear.

Everything good, I deem too good to be true
Everything else is just a bore
Everything I have to look forward to
Has a pretty painful and very imposing before.

you think you're secretive, but you're just stupid. it's interesting how i can give up so many things to keep you happy, or atleast not sad. you can't do that for anyone, can you?

"the world is changed because
you are made of ivory and gold.
the curves of your lips rewrite history."

new lj soon. i'm just so sick of looking at this crap. i'm just so sick of making myself sick.

my lj icon is me and adrian in a a mirror in lili's hallway in sf. haight st. that was the night i had a pot brownie and almost died.

also, i wouldn't say i'm very sober right now. yeah, not at all.

oh dear god, life is absurd sometimes.

the mighty continents divided
for a second time in all history
they found themselves just floating
free from all responsibility
without the weight of being whole...

Now here's an apple with a tougher skin;
well you've got your pretty scales and fins.

you say,
"see all the things that i can do
so perfectly my body grew."
but in ( Read more... )

i would love to know i held you ( Read more... )

"I certainly haven't been shopping for any new shoes
and
I certainly haven't been spreading myself around
I still only travel by foot and by foot, it's a slow climb,
But I'm good at being uncomfortable, so
I can't stop changing all the time.
I notice that my opponent is always on the go ( Read more... )