it's done the one i cared about most wants it to be over. well, if that's what she truely wants, what can i do.

A little while ago someone started bashing california to me and I got very angry and came up with every point I could think of to defend my home state. It wasn't until this moment that I had ever felt that california was my home, yes, obviously in the physical sense it was, but something always felt different in my heart and soul when I was back ( Read more... )

Inhalling cautiously, but hungerly on my ciggarette, so many thoughts whiz through my head. When am I going to be straight with my self, when am I going to fess up to people the "true" me. When can I admit that I might need some help, that maybe, just maybe, I'm not okay with the way things are. I havn't been for a while. I find myself desperately ( Read more... )

So, on christmas eve C.S. and I got into a tiff, or more, she said something and I got upset over it and became angry with her. I decided I wasn't going to talk to her until she called me back, and spent the rest of the day hanging out with my family. T.K. called me later and asked me if I had talked to C.S., and that she had said that C.S. had ( Read more... )

So, I went to The Knitting Factory last night with Candie and her little sister Holly to see This Providence. WOW! Standing there making eye contact with Phil and Dan while they were singing their hearts out, just wow, I could have died at that second and felt complete. I have never felt the way I felt last night, it makes everything else, it ( Read more... )

yeah, so, it's been a while. in the times since my last post i have had my 22nd b-day, and wow. i had so much fun, i got to school before tammy and candie and i was just chillin on the stairs outside our french class and i see candie walk up and she hands me this little square package that's wrapped with like a paper towel and painted w/ water ( Read more... )

so what the fuck, i am usually a happy person. I have now been contemplating suicide and droping out of school as two options i can take. what the fuck is wrong with me, i am almost always nervous and panicky now. i dont think any of my friends even see it, it scares me. the people i've talked to so far think that is hunky dorey. this is exactly ( Read more... )

aaaahahhhhhhhhhh, im goin to see bk tongiht, ahhh, oh my god, ive like never been this excited for a show in like forever. only 5 hours left till im on my way to see him, i wanna wear a shirt that says marry me bk!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!!!!!!!! im sitting herre and im listening to him, and like he has put a huge smile on my face, but it's not a fake, im ( Read more... )

so what the fuck, chris called me again, and he went on about how he knows that i miss him and still love him etc. now that might be true, but what a cocky little bastard, i mean, i dont know, maybe im like forgetting things, but he said before the "incident" (assuming that's the day i almost hit him w/ my car) he treated me right. yes, he came ( Read more... )

why can't shit talkers face their shit-talking when called on it. i think that is the most stupid and spineless thing a person can do. i ask you to tell me how i pull her away from christ, and you say "LEAVE ME ALONE" - i say, "no, you talked shit and you need to face it" and you sign off. way to run away from your problems. i think someone named ( Read more... )