I think the other night, I tried to drunkenly fuck a vampire. I'm not sure, but I don't think it worked out well for me. I think I've got what appear to be fang marks on my chest. It's creepy. I don't know how they got there. That's what I get for downing 2/3 of a bottle of Jack by myself, huh? Oh, wait. Those aren't fang marks. WAY too far apart.
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