"Not Getting Closer"
Jack Gilbert

Walking in the dark streets of Seoul
under the almost full moon.
Lost for the last two hours.
Finishing a loaf of bread
and worried about the curfew.
I have not spoken for three days
and I am thinking, "Why not just
settle for love? Why not just
settle for love instead?"

On two separate occasions now, I have found a single, unmistakable strand of pubic hair on my desk. It would be an incredible understatement to say that I am very concerned. First, that the cleaning lady is cleaning toilets and then my desk with the same cloth. Second and in the alternative, that someone is having sex on my desk ( Read more... )

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@2:35
P: Why am I watching this? This is upsetting.

J: Because it's the best thing ever

@3:55
P: I can't believe I'm watching lions and crocodiles play tug of war over a live buffalo.

@4:34
P: [cracks up]@4:54 ( Read more... )

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...And I didn't scream, cry, faint, throw up, or induce any of the above in others - well, not that I know of. All in all, a cautious mark in the "win" column, methinks. Tentative fist pump!

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An ex and I once had a protracted discussion on whether, when utilising the severed arm of your foe as a weapon, you'd use the upper arm bit or the hand bit as a handle. On the one hand (heh), the logical answer seems to be to hold on to the hand-end and to use the larger, musclier part (we eventually settled on calling it "the wet end") to beat ( Read more... )

Hm. So. I have had... shall we say, a very interesting CNY weekend. More detail would prrrooobably entail my breaking some kind of obscenity-related law, and would most DEFINITELY be construed as conduct unbefitting an honourable profession, sooo... suffice to say that I had but 2 new year resolutions, and, over the course of this 4-day weekend, I ( Read more... )

AKA Borders warehouse sale WOOT!


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My life revolves around bath time. In a valiant effort to save the earth by using less water and expending as little energy as humanly possible without actively ceasing to exist, I bathe once every 24 hours. This, as you might imagine, is a rather important determining factor when it comes to planning my day. Massage? Only within 4 hours of bath ( Read more... )

When will you people cease with the thoughtless behaviour?? Ye gads, stop committing your crimes for JUST ONE DAY and let the girl enjoy this holiest of days in peace. And you! Your loved one will not die if he has to spend one more day in lockup. Stop calling! GOD. Is anyone suffering more than I am right now? I DON'T THINK SO ( Read more... )