Forever & Ever 7.1
Title: Forever & Ever (Miseinen Sequel)
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6
“Wow, it’s been forever,” Aoi hugged Reita tightly. Uruha stood behind him waiting for his turn.
“Hey,” he smiled as he embraced him. “So, you saw Ruki?”
Reita nodded. The three of them looked at each other in silence. Around them people came and went, getting ready for the concert. “I don’t know what to say!” Reita nearly shouted and clapped his hands together. “This…seeing you three…it’s a lot,” he shook his head. “Well, I’m really happy that you all are safe and healthy,” he rested his hands on his waist.
“Kai is good too. He works at some restaurant called the Moon Lady,” Aoi said with a laugh.
“He drums for Lie:Death,” Uruha said.
“Seriously? They are doing well, aren’t they?”
Uruha nodded.
“Wow. Is Ruki in a band?” Reita asked.
“Was,” Uruha pulling out a pack of gum put a stick in his mouth.
“Oh yeah?”
“Hey, give me some,” Aoi asked.
Uruha handed him a piece.
“Thank you~” he said unwrapping it and putting it in his mouth. “We plan on getting a band together once we find a drummer and a bassist.”
“So you two play guitar?” Reita asked.
They both nodded.
“So, Ruki sings?”
They nodded again.
“Wow,” he shook his head. “I play the bass by the way.”
“What’s up with that thing on your face,” Uruha said, chewing his gum like a horse eating hay.
“This,” he pointed to the band. “It’s part of my persona,” he folded his arms confidently and nodded like a superhero out of kids cartoon.
“It looks stupid,” Uruha said blankly.
“EH?!” Reita jumped back.
Aoi shook his head and tried to suppress his laughter. “Hey, it’s different,” he said.
“It looks stupid,” Uruha repeated.
“Ignore him,” Aoi said.
“It looks-”
Aoi lifted up his hand and smacked it against Uruha’s mouth, the shape of the word “stupid” forming on the skin of Aoi’s palm.
“Um…can I ask something embarrassing really quickly?” Reita said cringing.
“What?” Aoi said his hand still plastered against Uruha’s lips. Uruha for some reason didn’t push his hand away.
“Are you two together?”
“No,” Aoi said flatly as he let his hand drop.
Reita stared at them, not sure what to say. “Um…”
“So, how have you been?” Aoi asked as if everything were normal.
“Good,” he nodded. “I’m engaged.”
“WHAT?!” Uruha nearly shouted.
Aoi turned and stared at him, surprised. He wasn’t sure what he was more shocked about: Reita’s news or Uruha’s reaction to it. “Come again?” he asked.
“I’m engaged.”
“Aren’t you only 22?” Uruha asked.
“So,” Reita smiled.
The two guitarists stared at him at a loss for words.
“You’re kidding right?” Aoi asked.
“No. Her name is Kameyo and we are getting married in June.” Reita tried to smile.
Silence.
“Why?” Uruha asked.
“We’re in love, that’s why.”
Ruki finally came back and handed Uruha his brown guitar. “Everything is good to go. You guys go on first,” he said. Looking at the three of them, he asked “So, what are you all talking about?”
“Reita is engaged,” Uruha spat out, not wasting any time.
Aoi turned and giving Uruha a reprimanding look, shook his head.
“You-wait-wait-what-huh?” he stammered and looked up at Reita. The two of them were standing shoulder to shoulder.
“I’m getting married in June,” Reita repeated in a low voice, staring intently at the floor. The way they were reacting was almost as if he had done something horrible.
Aoi seeing his expression came to his rescue “Hey, I think it’s wonderful! Congratulations!” he smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “Hey, give me hug!”
Reita relieved, hugged him.
“Seriously, if I ever fell in love, I’d marry her in heartbeat too,” he smiled.
Ruki and Reita, hearing those words immediately looked at Uruha.
Uruha slowly lifted his eyes to the side of Aoi’s face. Aoi wasn’t a fool, he knew what everyone was thinking and he wanted them to think that.
“I need a cigarette,” Ruki said. It was easy to detect the anger in his voice. The joy of seeing Reita again couldn’t suppress the jealousy he was feeling or the shock nor could it suppress the anger he felt toward Aoi and the words that he just said. He had deliberately intended to hurt their friend. “Come on, Uruha,” he said as he headed toward the back door, without looking back, leaving Reita and Aoi standing there.
“Wait-what,” Reita reached out toward them, wondering if he should stop them.
***
“Leaving soon?” D said taking a seat in front of the counter as if he were a costumer.
“Yeah,” Kai rubbed his face. He was exhausted. He had been at the Moon Lady since 6 in the morning and now, he had to wait around a couple hours and then head over to his band mate’s house for practice.
They were the only two left in the restaurant. A couple people were expected to come in a little while to relieve him so he could head out.
“How long are you supposed to be here?” Kai asked, taking a deep and tired sigh.
“Apparently, I’m supposed to work when you work,” he shrugged. “Why are you so exhausted?” he asked examining Kai’s face.
“I had a show last night,” he placed his hands on the counter and nodded cutely.
“What’s it like?”
“Hm?”
“What’s it like, performing?”
Kai titled his head as he thought about it. “Best feeling in the world,” he smiled, revealing his charming dimple.
“Why the drums?”
“Oh…” he sighed. “I used to have…well, anger problems.”
“Like my uncle?”
Kai giggled. “No! Well, maybe. I don’t think your uncle has anger problems. I started drumming to get out that energy. You know what I mean?”
“Mhm,” he nodded.
“I don’t know…the drums are something you play with your entire body, you know what I mean?” he smiled and thought to himself. “You feel it with your entire being!” he giggled. “It’s like the heart beat too of the song. Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, I guess it’s my natural role.”
“Your natural role?”
“The rest of the band relies on the drummer you see. And I like being that person. That’s who I am,” he said with finality.
D’Marcus, without saying anything just stared at him.
“What?” Kai giggled uncomfortably.
“That’s beautiful.”
“What?! Are you teasing me?” Kai in his embarrassment, folded his arms and shook his leg nervously.
“No,” D said surprised. “Why would I tease you?”
Kai narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “No one just says stuff like that.”
“What? That something is beautiful?”
“…yeah.” His back was against the opposite wall as he watched him from afar.
“Maybe it’s American of me to talk so openly.”
“Maybe.”
“You have a purpose. Something you serve. That’s beautiful,” he smiled at him.
“D.”
“Yeah?”
“You are making me uncomfortable.”
D’Marcus started laughing openly, his white teeth gleaming, his deep, hollow laughter resonated throughout the small restaurant. “I always make you uncomfortable.”
Kai giggled. “Well…”
“Why do I make you nervous?” D’Marcus asked, suddenly serious.
“Honestly?” Kai smiled.
“Honestly,” he nodded.
“You intimidate me,” he answered without laughing or smiling.
“Oh,” he nodded and bit his lip.
“That doesn’t surprise you?”
“The only people that aren’t intimidated by black men are black women,” he said with a laugh.
“Oh! It’s not like I think you are some criminal!” Kai giggled, amused. He was aware of the race issues in D’s home country. He had seen many movies about it, about the stereotypes. D’Marcus didn’t even look like one of those types of people.
D smiled and looked down.
“You are just,” Kai didn’t really know how to put it. “Well, Haru likes you instead so…that explains it.”
D licked his lips as he thought. “Yeah…” was all he managed to say.
“Do you like her?” Kai asked, his voice low.
“Like her?”
“Yeah.”
“She’s attractive,” he said disinterestedly.
“So you don’t?”
D sighed and looked up at Kai. “Not really,” he said. “But I guess if she wants me, you don’t want her anymore?”
Kai tilted his head. “No, I’m not like that,” he smiled and looked down. “People are people.”
“People are people,” D repeated. “Kai, Kai…” he sighed.
“What?”
“I like you a lot.”
Kai’s eyes widen. “You are supposed to say it like that!” he laughed.
“Huh? Oh!” D covered his mouth and started laughing hysterically realizing that he just said essentially that he liked him romantically. “Oops.”
The two of them stood there laughing for several minutes at D’s blunder.
“That was embarrassing…” D said, finally catching his breath.
***
Outside in the alley, Ruki took quick, angry drags from his cigarette, tapping his foot. Uruha, somewhat in the daze of his thoughts just stared at the tar and the light bouncing off its black surface.
“I can’t believe he said those things to you.”
Uruha looked up at the side of Ruki’s face as he stared off into the distance.
“Well…”
Ruki not hearing him continued “That was seriously cruel. And then Reita just standing there…” he shook his head.
“Well, he’s not in love with me anymore…”
“He didn’t have to rub it in.” Ruki threw the still lit cigarette across the alley. It’s small white body bounced of the brick wall of the neighboring building and hitting the ground finally, danced in several hops before finally lying to rest.
Uruha brought his cigarette to his lips not bothering to argue with Ruki. He wasn’t angry. He already knew that Aoi didn’t love him anymore-that or he made it clear that he wanted Uruha to believe that. He knew though that the source of Ruki’s irritation was in fact with the knowledge that Reita was to be married this summer.
Ruki, compared to the other four Uruha realized was the one that didn’t really move on. He wondered what it was in Ruki’s life that made him that way. His loyalty to Aoi and Uruha in the last days proved that he still believed them all to be close friends. Of course, they would be in a band together. Of course, if Ruki had nothing to do, he would help one of them out. He acted as if it were only natural.
“Ruki,” Uruha said softly.
“Hm?” he turned and looking up at him from his large black eyes gleaming against the pale roundness of his face.
He paused trying to figure out what it was that he really wanted to say. He wanted to ask him what happened with him. What was he feeling? “Why do you want to be in a band with me and Aoi?” he asked.
Those black eyes grew even wider. Realizing what Uruha was really trying to ask, he looked down and saying in an almost childlike voice “You four are the only real friends I’ve had…”
Uruha brought the cigarette to his lips one last time; let it fall to the ground where he softly smothered the ember with the bottom of his foot.
Ruki was expecting him to press, to ask questions that he didn’t really want to answer, to force him to talk about things he didn’t really want to talk about. Right now, he just wanted to forget about those things. He wanted to be someone else, someplace else. With everyone he used to know, he was Taka-chan but with Aoi and Uruha, he was Ruki. He was the person who he wanted to be, not some helpless kid.
He didn’t want to say that. It was too embarrassing. Other people had real lives it seemed. They did things, had other friends, went on dates with girls that were legitimately interested in them, they had a future. If Uruha asked, he would have to admit to him a part of his life that he would rather keep hidden.
But Uruha didn’t. That was enough for him to understand. In fact, Uruha admired him. He wanted to be able to feel with intensity those emotions and connections that overtime had lost their vibrancy and have paled. Being with Ruki felt like the closest thing to be back there, when they were happy and free. He refused to think that they were anything but destined to be friends and there was something comforting about that loyalty and that trust. Ruki believed that between the 5 of them no matter what, because he had let each of them into his heart, they were a brotherhood and nothing was going to change that, not distance, not time.
Uruha wanted to play alongside him because of that. He wondered how long he could possibly go on playing being virtually alone even amongst his band mates. Each were there for themselves. Ruki however was the sort of person who could tell that you wanted to talk to him or hang out with him but didn’t have the courage and so he would go up to you, sit down and talk as if he hadn’t even noticed. It was comforting to be with someone who would say things with the word “we.” Even if that “we” turned into an “us” that was separated them from the rest of the world Uruha didn’t care. Everyone needs a home and a family and once Ruki let you in, you were there forever. Ruki couldn’t even push you out if he tried.
And Uruha could tell that Ruki was trying to do that at the moment, trying to force Reita out-at least trying to distance him.
“I’m sure that he still loves you,” Uruha said, cutting into the silence with his soft and gentle voice.
Ruki looked up at him.
“Give him some time,” Uru nodded. “He will follow you again. I’m sure.”
“But…”
“I may never have Aoi again…like that…”
“Do you…?” Ruki asked in a soft voice.
“I don’t know,” he tilted his head as he honestly thought about it. “Maybe…but it doesn’t matter.”
“Because love is love,” Ruki suddenly said and smiled to himself. He seemed to be remembering something. After the words escaped his lips, he had fallen into a memory of sorts that caused his once guarded demeanor to go soft.
Uruha watched the emotions flow across his features before finally replying “yes.”
***
“Why do I feel like they are bitching about us?” Aoi said, strumming away on his guitar. Reita was sitting next to him, his arms folded, his lips curled in confusion.
“Why did you say that?”
“Say what?”
“That whole shit about marrying some girl in a heartbeat?”
Aoi let his strumming hand fall. “Eh? Just saw you again for the first time in almost 6 years and you are yelling at me?”
“I’m not yelling at you.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“Asking a question.” Reita was adamant.
Aoi narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him.
“I just feel like you said that purposely to hurt Uruha’s feelings. Did you?”
“No,” Aoi lied, strumming again. He started practicing the phrases to Kurenai. “He’s probably going to have me play Pata’s part…” he said to himself.
“What?” Reita had no idea what he was talking about. “Pata?”
Ruki and Uruha returned and walking right up to the other two, Ruki said in a strong, sure voice “I’m not mad.” It was hard to read his expression to tell if his words were the truth or not. Like a child that was ordered to apologize, Ruki with sharp movements, bent down and hugged Reita.
“Um…okay,” was all Reita could say.
“I have to go on stage soon,” Uruha announced. “After the 3rd song, we are going to be playing Kurenai,” he said looking down at Aoi. He watched Uruha’s pretty face, tonguing his lip piercing.
“Cool,” he replied with a relaxed smirk.
After several quiet moments of him thinking to himself, Uruha nodded curtly and went to go get ready to go on stage.
“I was just thinking…” Ruki said plopping down next to Reita.
“Hm…” He turned and looked at Ruki.
“This may be sudden and everything-but…I just realized that if I sing and they play guitar and you play bass…and Kai plays drums…”
“We have an entire band?” Aoi said with a wide smile.
“Um…” Reita wasn’t sure if he really wanted to leave his band and it was unlikely that Kai would leave his but at the same time, it was a strange coincidence. It was almost as if it were fate that they should reunite like this and play together. It would make sense considering how often they were messing around with their instruments that one summer together and how they sat around for hours just talking about bands or putting make up on Uruha’s face.
“I’m not asking you to leave your band,” Ruki said as if he were a mind reader.
Reita folded his arms and nodded.
“But of course…” Ruki added.
“Of course what?”
Aoi looked back at his guitar and going through the song once more, smiled to himself, amused as Ruki’s roundabout way. He wasn’t going to interfere. Like Ruki, he knew that they needed someone to play bass and who better than Reita? It didn’t even occur to him to hear him play before considering. If he wasn’t any good, they were still young and he had time to get better. Besides, most bands at their level couldn’t even play their instruments that well so the general expectation wasn’t that high.
“If you wanted to join us, you will be our top choice for bassist,” Ruki wrapped his arm around the back of the couch they were sitting on facing Reita. It was obvious to Aoi that he was trying to persuade him. Reita if he was anything like the boy he remembered wouldn’t realize that, instead he would naively fall for it, hypnotized by the intimacy and charm. Aoi had to admit that the way Ruki was looking up at Reita with wide eyes and the way in which he was deliberately pouting his mouth that he looked irresistibly cute. Looking away and shaking his head, Aoi smiled to himself as he waited for Reita to fall prey to little Ruki’s trap.
Reita didn’t know what to say so he just smiled like a fool almost as if he couldn’t even understand Japanese.
To Ruki, this was a good sign. To the onlooker, it was like watching a poor little bug approach a Venus fly trap. Almost like in a Hitchcock movie, you just waited in avid anticipation as the tension in the room mounted, for the moment when the bomb that you knew was under the table exploded and the pretty tiny trap to suddenly snap close its wide mouth and swallow the little fly whole.
With a cute smile, Ruki slapped Reita’s arm and said as if the thought just occurred to him-which Aoi knew was a complete lie “You have gotten so much manlier!”
Reita abashed, tapped his foot embarrassed and smiled. “Well, it’s been 6 years,” he laughed.
Aoi couldn’t take it. It was getting to the point of disgusting. Looking away, he rubbed his eyes and cringed, suppressing the smile.
“No, seriously!” Ruki giggled and said in his playful whiny voice. “You’re really masculine! Anyway…” he said with a smile. Smooth, Aoi thought. Very smooth. If he kept up with that, it would have been obvious that he was trying to flatter him. “Of course…if you are interested…you know…to join the band.” Just then, he looked up at him with big pretty eyes.
“You are seriously not upset with me, Ruki?” Reita suddenly asked. Aoi didn’t expect that.
“Upset?”
“About Kameyo…”
He stared at him for several seconds. His expression almost unreadable. “Do you remember when you talked to me that one time, outside of the cafeteria?” Ruki asked in a low sweet voice. Aoi couldn’t tell if he was trying to keep the conversation private between them and even if he were, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to eavesdrop.
“Yeah…” His voice was strangely tender. It made Aoi uncomfortable but at the same time, all the more irresistible not to listen in.
“I just want you to be happy,” he smiled and lifting up his hand, booped Reita on the top of the head.
Abruptly, Reita overwhelmed with emotion, pulled Ruki’s small body into a tight hug. “I’ve missed you so much,” he said in his ear.
At first, Ruki was too stunned to say anything. As soon as he realized what was going on, he wrapped his arms around Reita and hugged him back, whispering “I missed you too.”
“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again…”
“Now, we don’t have to be a part.”
Aoi stood up. “Um…” he said immensely uncomfortable. “I’m going to go wait by the stage…” Before the others could say anything to him, he quickly walked away.
Author: Zion Shadowlet
Beta: butterflysaga(the bitch)
Characters: Aoi, Uruha, Ruki, Reita, Kai and many OCs (Fuwa etc.)
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha and more~
Genre: Drama, Romance, Friendship, Comedy
Rating: NC17
Summary: Six years have passed since the summer at the Dazai Bright Future Retreat for Troubled Children. The boys meet in an unexpected way perhaps bound by fate in the underground world of Visual Kei. With broken hearts and promises; the boys-now young men look to regain some of what they lost by the wild and reckless pursuit of the same dream.
Previous Parts: Part 1.1 | Part 1.2 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4.1| Part 4.2| Part 5| Part 6
“Wow, it’s been forever,” Aoi hugged Reita tightly. Uruha stood behind him waiting for his turn.
“Hey,” he smiled as he embraced him. “So, you saw Ruki?”
Reita nodded. The three of them looked at each other in silence. Around them people came and went, getting ready for the concert. “I don’t know what to say!” Reita nearly shouted and clapped his hands together. “This…seeing you three…it’s a lot,” he shook his head. “Well, I’m really happy that you all are safe and healthy,” he rested his hands on his waist.
“Kai is good too. He works at some restaurant called the Moon Lady,” Aoi said with a laugh.
“He drums for Lie:Death,” Uruha said.
“Seriously? They are doing well, aren’t they?”
Uruha nodded.
“Wow. Is Ruki in a band?” Reita asked.
“Was,” Uruha pulling out a pack of gum put a stick in his mouth.
“Oh yeah?”
“Hey, give me some,” Aoi asked.
Uruha handed him a piece.
“Thank you~” he said unwrapping it and putting it in his mouth. “We plan on getting a band together once we find a drummer and a bassist.”
“So you two play guitar?” Reita asked.
They both nodded.
“So, Ruki sings?”
They nodded again.
“Wow,” he shook his head. “I play the bass by the way.”
“What’s up with that thing on your face,” Uruha said, chewing his gum like a horse eating hay.
“This,” he pointed to the band. “It’s part of my persona,” he folded his arms confidently and nodded like a superhero out of kids cartoon.
“It looks stupid,” Uruha said blankly.
“EH?!” Reita jumped back.
Aoi shook his head and tried to suppress his laughter. “Hey, it’s different,” he said.
“It looks stupid,” Uruha repeated.
“Ignore him,” Aoi said.
“It looks-”
Aoi lifted up his hand and smacked it against Uruha’s mouth, the shape of the word “stupid” forming on the skin of Aoi’s palm.
“Um…can I ask something embarrassing really quickly?” Reita said cringing.
“What?” Aoi said his hand still plastered against Uruha’s lips. Uruha for some reason didn’t push his hand away.
“Are you two together?”
“No,” Aoi said flatly as he let his hand drop.
Reita stared at them, not sure what to say. “Um…”
“So, how have you been?” Aoi asked as if everything were normal.
“Good,” he nodded. “I’m engaged.”
“WHAT?!” Uruha nearly shouted.
Aoi turned and stared at him, surprised. He wasn’t sure what he was more shocked about: Reita’s news or Uruha’s reaction to it. “Come again?” he asked.
“I’m engaged.”
“Aren’t you only 22?” Uruha asked.
“So,” Reita smiled.
The two guitarists stared at him at a loss for words.
“You’re kidding right?” Aoi asked.
“No. Her name is Kameyo and we are getting married in June.” Reita tried to smile.
Silence.
“Why?” Uruha asked.
“We’re in love, that’s why.”
Ruki finally came back and handed Uruha his brown guitar. “Everything is good to go. You guys go on first,” he said. Looking at the three of them, he asked “So, what are you all talking about?”
“Reita is engaged,” Uruha spat out, not wasting any time.
Aoi turned and giving Uruha a reprimanding look, shook his head.
“You-wait-wait-what-huh?” he stammered and looked up at Reita. The two of them were standing shoulder to shoulder.
“I’m getting married in June,” Reita repeated in a low voice, staring intently at the floor. The way they were reacting was almost as if he had done something horrible.
Aoi seeing his expression came to his rescue “Hey, I think it’s wonderful! Congratulations!” he smiled and patted him on the shoulder. “Hey, give me hug!”
Reita relieved, hugged him.
“Seriously, if I ever fell in love, I’d marry her in heartbeat too,” he smiled.
Ruki and Reita, hearing those words immediately looked at Uruha.
Uruha slowly lifted his eyes to the side of Aoi’s face. Aoi wasn’t a fool, he knew what everyone was thinking and he wanted them to think that.
“I need a cigarette,” Ruki said. It was easy to detect the anger in his voice. The joy of seeing Reita again couldn’t suppress the jealousy he was feeling or the shock nor could it suppress the anger he felt toward Aoi and the words that he just said. He had deliberately intended to hurt their friend. “Come on, Uruha,” he said as he headed toward the back door, without looking back, leaving Reita and Aoi standing there.
“Wait-what,” Reita reached out toward them, wondering if he should stop them.
***
“Leaving soon?” D said taking a seat in front of the counter as if he were a costumer.
“Yeah,” Kai rubbed his face. He was exhausted. He had been at the Moon Lady since 6 in the morning and now, he had to wait around a couple hours and then head over to his band mate’s house for practice.
They were the only two left in the restaurant. A couple people were expected to come in a little while to relieve him so he could head out.
“How long are you supposed to be here?” Kai asked, taking a deep and tired sigh.
“Apparently, I’m supposed to work when you work,” he shrugged. “Why are you so exhausted?” he asked examining Kai’s face.
“I had a show last night,” he placed his hands on the counter and nodded cutely.
“What’s it like?”
“Hm?”
“What’s it like, performing?”
Kai titled his head as he thought about it. “Best feeling in the world,” he smiled, revealing his charming dimple.
“Why the drums?”
“Oh…” he sighed. “I used to have…well, anger problems.”
“Like my uncle?”
Kai giggled. “No! Well, maybe. I don’t think your uncle has anger problems. I started drumming to get out that energy. You know what I mean?”
“Mhm,” he nodded.
“I don’t know…the drums are something you play with your entire body, you know what I mean?” he smiled and thought to himself. “You feel it with your entire being!” he giggled. “It’s like the heart beat too of the song. Yeah,” he nodded. “Yeah, I guess it’s my natural role.”
“Your natural role?”
“The rest of the band relies on the drummer you see. And I like being that person. That’s who I am,” he said with finality.
D’Marcus, without saying anything just stared at him.
“What?” Kai giggled uncomfortably.
“That’s beautiful.”
“What?! Are you teasing me?” Kai in his embarrassment, folded his arms and shook his leg nervously.
“No,” D said surprised. “Why would I tease you?”
Kai narrowed his eyes suspiciously. “No one just says stuff like that.”
“What? That something is beautiful?”
“…yeah.” His back was against the opposite wall as he watched him from afar.
“Maybe it’s American of me to talk so openly.”
“Maybe.”
“You have a purpose. Something you serve. That’s beautiful,” he smiled at him.
“D.”
“Yeah?”
“You are making me uncomfortable.”
D’Marcus started laughing openly, his white teeth gleaming, his deep, hollow laughter resonated throughout the small restaurant. “I always make you uncomfortable.”
Kai giggled. “Well…”
“Why do I make you nervous?” D’Marcus asked, suddenly serious.
“Honestly?” Kai smiled.
“Honestly,” he nodded.
“You intimidate me,” he answered without laughing or smiling.
“Oh,” he nodded and bit his lip.
“That doesn’t surprise you?”
“The only people that aren’t intimidated by black men are black women,” he said with a laugh.
“Oh! It’s not like I think you are some criminal!” Kai giggled, amused. He was aware of the race issues in D’s home country. He had seen many movies about it, about the stereotypes. D’Marcus didn’t even look like one of those types of people.
D smiled and looked down.
“You are just,” Kai didn’t really know how to put it. “Well, Haru likes you instead so…that explains it.”
D licked his lips as he thought. “Yeah…” was all he managed to say.
“Do you like her?” Kai asked, his voice low.
“Like her?”
“Yeah.”
“She’s attractive,” he said disinterestedly.
“So you don’t?”
D sighed and looked up at Kai. “Not really,” he said. “But I guess if she wants me, you don’t want her anymore?”
Kai tilted his head. “No, I’m not like that,” he smiled and looked down. “People are people.”
“People are people,” D repeated. “Kai, Kai…” he sighed.
“What?”
“I like you a lot.”
Kai’s eyes widen. “You are supposed to say it like that!” he laughed.
“Huh? Oh!” D covered his mouth and started laughing hysterically realizing that he just said essentially that he liked him romantically. “Oops.”
The two of them stood there laughing for several minutes at D’s blunder.
“That was embarrassing…” D said, finally catching his breath.
***
Outside in the alley, Ruki took quick, angry drags from his cigarette, tapping his foot. Uruha, somewhat in the daze of his thoughts just stared at the tar and the light bouncing off its black surface.
“I can’t believe he said those things to you.”
Uruha looked up at the side of Ruki’s face as he stared off into the distance.
“Well…”
Ruki not hearing him continued “That was seriously cruel. And then Reita just standing there…” he shook his head.
“Well, he’s not in love with me anymore…”
“He didn’t have to rub it in.” Ruki threw the still lit cigarette across the alley. It’s small white body bounced of the brick wall of the neighboring building and hitting the ground finally, danced in several hops before finally lying to rest.
Uruha brought his cigarette to his lips not bothering to argue with Ruki. He wasn’t angry. He already knew that Aoi didn’t love him anymore-that or he made it clear that he wanted Uruha to believe that. He knew though that the source of Ruki’s irritation was in fact with the knowledge that Reita was to be married this summer.
Ruki, compared to the other four Uruha realized was the one that didn’t really move on. He wondered what it was in Ruki’s life that made him that way. His loyalty to Aoi and Uruha in the last days proved that he still believed them all to be close friends. Of course, they would be in a band together. Of course, if Ruki had nothing to do, he would help one of them out. He acted as if it were only natural.
“Ruki,” Uruha said softly.
“Hm?” he turned and looking up at him from his large black eyes gleaming against the pale roundness of his face.
He paused trying to figure out what it was that he really wanted to say. He wanted to ask him what happened with him. What was he feeling? “Why do you want to be in a band with me and Aoi?” he asked.
Those black eyes grew even wider. Realizing what Uruha was really trying to ask, he looked down and saying in an almost childlike voice “You four are the only real friends I’ve had…”
Uruha brought the cigarette to his lips one last time; let it fall to the ground where he softly smothered the ember with the bottom of his foot.
Ruki was expecting him to press, to ask questions that he didn’t really want to answer, to force him to talk about things he didn’t really want to talk about. Right now, he just wanted to forget about those things. He wanted to be someone else, someplace else. With everyone he used to know, he was Taka-chan but with Aoi and Uruha, he was Ruki. He was the person who he wanted to be, not some helpless kid.
He didn’t want to say that. It was too embarrassing. Other people had real lives it seemed. They did things, had other friends, went on dates with girls that were legitimately interested in them, they had a future. If Uruha asked, he would have to admit to him a part of his life that he would rather keep hidden.
But Uruha didn’t. That was enough for him to understand. In fact, Uruha admired him. He wanted to be able to feel with intensity those emotions and connections that overtime had lost their vibrancy and have paled. Being with Ruki felt like the closest thing to be back there, when they were happy and free. He refused to think that they were anything but destined to be friends and there was something comforting about that loyalty and that trust. Ruki believed that between the 5 of them no matter what, because he had let each of them into his heart, they were a brotherhood and nothing was going to change that, not distance, not time.
Uruha wanted to play alongside him because of that. He wondered how long he could possibly go on playing being virtually alone even amongst his band mates. Each were there for themselves. Ruki however was the sort of person who could tell that you wanted to talk to him or hang out with him but didn’t have the courage and so he would go up to you, sit down and talk as if he hadn’t even noticed. It was comforting to be with someone who would say things with the word “we.” Even if that “we” turned into an “us” that was separated them from the rest of the world Uruha didn’t care. Everyone needs a home and a family and once Ruki let you in, you were there forever. Ruki couldn’t even push you out if he tried.
And Uruha could tell that Ruki was trying to do that at the moment, trying to force Reita out-at least trying to distance him.
“I’m sure that he still loves you,” Uruha said, cutting into the silence with his soft and gentle voice.
Ruki looked up at him.
“Give him some time,” Uru nodded. “He will follow you again. I’m sure.”
“But…”
“I may never have Aoi again…like that…”
“Do you…?” Ruki asked in a soft voice.
“I don’t know,” he tilted his head as he honestly thought about it. “Maybe…but it doesn’t matter.”
“Because love is love,” Ruki suddenly said and smiled to himself. He seemed to be remembering something. After the words escaped his lips, he had fallen into a memory of sorts that caused his once guarded demeanor to go soft.
Uruha watched the emotions flow across his features before finally replying “yes.”
***
“Why do I feel like they are bitching about us?” Aoi said, strumming away on his guitar. Reita was sitting next to him, his arms folded, his lips curled in confusion.
“Why did you say that?”
“Say what?”
“That whole shit about marrying some girl in a heartbeat?”
Aoi let his strumming hand fall. “Eh? Just saw you again for the first time in almost 6 years and you are yelling at me?”
“I’m not yelling at you.”
“Then what are you doing?”
“Asking a question.” Reita was adamant.
Aoi narrowed his eyes suspiciously at him.
“I just feel like you said that purposely to hurt Uruha’s feelings. Did you?”
“No,” Aoi lied, strumming again. He started practicing the phrases to Kurenai. “He’s probably going to have me play Pata’s part…” he said to himself.
“What?” Reita had no idea what he was talking about. “Pata?”
Ruki and Uruha returned and walking right up to the other two, Ruki said in a strong, sure voice “I’m not mad.” It was hard to read his expression to tell if his words were the truth or not. Like a child that was ordered to apologize, Ruki with sharp movements, bent down and hugged Reita.
“Um…okay,” was all Reita could say.
“I have to go on stage soon,” Uruha announced. “After the 3rd song, we are going to be playing Kurenai,” he said looking down at Aoi. He watched Uruha’s pretty face, tonguing his lip piercing.
“Cool,” he replied with a relaxed smirk.
After several quiet moments of him thinking to himself, Uruha nodded curtly and went to go get ready to go on stage.
“I was just thinking…” Ruki said plopping down next to Reita.
“Hm…” He turned and looked at Ruki.
“This may be sudden and everything-but…I just realized that if I sing and they play guitar and you play bass…and Kai plays drums…”
“We have an entire band?” Aoi said with a wide smile.
“Um…” Reita wasn’t sure if he really wanted to leave his band and it was unlikely that Kai would leave his but at the same time, it was a strange coincidence. It was almost as if it were fate that they should reunite like this and play together. It would make sense considering how often they were messing around with their instruments that one summer together and how they sat around for hours just talking about bands or putting make up on Uruha’s face.
“I’m not asking you to leave your band,” Ruki said as if he were a mind reader.
Reita folded his arms and nodded.
“But of course…” Ruki added.
“Of course what?”
Aoi looked back at his guitar and going through the song once more, smiled to himself, amused as Ruki’s roundabout way. He wasn’t going to interfere. Like Ruki, he knew that they needed someone to play bass and who better than Reita? It didn’t even occur to him to hear him play before considering. If he wasn’t any good, they were still young and he had time to get better. Besides, most bands at their level couldn’t even play their instruments that well so the general expectation wasn’t that high.
“If you wanted to join us, you will be our top choice for bassist,” Ruki wrapped his arm around the back of the couch they were sitting on facing Reita. It was obvious to Aoi that he was trying to persuade him. Reita if he was anything like the boy he remembered wouldn’t realize that, instead he would naively fall for it, hypnotized by the intimacy and charm. Aoi had to admit that the way Ruki was looking up at Reita with wide eyes and the way in which he was deliberately pouting his mouth that he looked irresistibly cute. Looking away and shaking his head, Aoi smiled to himself as he waited for Reita to fall prey to little Ruki’s trap.
Reita didn’t know what to say so he just smiled like a fool almost as if he couldn’t even understand Japanese.
To Ruki, this was a good sign. To the onlooker, it was like watching a poor little bug approach a Venus fly trap. Almost like in a Hitchcock movie, you just waited in avid anticipation as the tension in the room mounted, for the moment when the bomb that you knew was under the table exploded and the pretty tiny trap to suddenly snap close its wide mouth and swallow the little fly whole.
With a cute smile, Ruki slapped Reita’s arm and said as if the thought just occurred to him-which Aoi knew was a complete lie “You have gotten so much manlier!”
Reita abashed, tapped his foot embarrassed and smiled. “Well, it’s been 6 years,” he laughed.
Aoi couldn’t take it. It was getting to the point of disgusting. Looking away, he rubbed his eyes and cringed, suppressing the smile.
“No, seriously!” Ruki giggled and said in his playful whiny voice. “You’re really masculine! Anyway…” he said with a smile. Smooth, Aoi thought. Very smooth. If he kept up with that, it would have been obvious that he was trying to flatter him. “Of course…if you are interested…you know…to join the band.” Just then, he looked up at him with big pretty eyes.
“You are seriously not upset with me, Ruki?” Reita suddenly asked. Aoi didn’t expect that.
“Upset?”
“About Kameyo…”
He stared at him for several seconds. His expression almost unreadable. “Do you remember when you talked to me that one time, outside of the cafeteria?” Ruki asked in a low sweet voice. Aoi couldn’t tell if he was trying to keep the conversation private between them and even if he were, that didn’t mean he wasn’t going to eavesdrop.
“Yeah…” His voice was strangely tender. It made Aoi uncomfortable but at the same time, all the more irresistible not to listen in.
“I just want you to be happy,” he smiled and lifting up his hand, booped Reita on the top of the head.
Abruptly, Reita overwhelmed with emotion, pulled Ruki’s small body into a tight hug. “I’ve missed you so much,” he said in his ear.
At first, Ruki was too stunned to say anything. As soon as he realized what was going on, he wrapped his arms around Reita and hugged him back, whispering “I missed you too.”
“I didn’t think I’d ever see you again…”
“Now, we don’t have to be a part.”
Aoi stood up. “Um…” he said immensely uncomfortable. “I’m going to go wait by the stage…” Before the others could say anything to him, he quickly walked away.