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A little voice
Here it is again. That little voice whispering in my ear. Telling me that I could do better. Telling me that something is wrong but not pointing me in a direction to figure out what it is. I'm not sure I'm unhappy. I'm not sure I'm happy. I know I miss my friends but is it only because I have fallen into a pattern of work and home - in my new home ( Read more... ) -
Lost
I hear the ticking of the clock. It is getting late and I know if I closed my eyes I could keep them closed all night long. He went to bed and I didn't make a move to join him and now I sit here becoming irritated at the crunching I hear of the crackers he is eating in bed. I become irritated that he says he's going to sleep and gets up 5 minutes ( Read more... ) -
From think to do
I continue to come back here in the form of a typed journal entry whenever my emotions seem to be blending like a palette of paint so that the primary colours are no longer distinguishable, and even which colours to mix have become uncertain. I am not sure if this is doing me any good, or anybody else out there deciding to take a gander at these ( Read more... ) -
Thinking too much
I have too much on my mind and need to rant, so forgive me oh internet world, if this gets long and tedious. I need a neutral person who will not input comments of "you need to know if you want what it is now, not what it could be like" or tell me to listen to my gut.. because I don't know what my gut, or my heart, or my head is telling me. ( Read more... ) -
sunny day, deep thoughts
It is a sunny day and yet I sit indoor unable to sum up the motivation to grab my bicycle and take it to places I have not yet explored. I do love cycling so what is holding me back? The energies surrounding me absorb so easily, like water or oxygen which easily passes through each cell of my body. I have enjoyed the small vacation I had and came ( Read more... ) -
Loneliness
Today I realized that it's hard for me to make friends. I miss the close friends that are far away from me. I sit at home, spending hours watching a TV series and imagine somebody's arm around me when all I get is his voice on the other end of some long line that leads to nowhere. I wonder where I'm headed and then ask myself why I'm thinking about ( Read more... ) -
I am Human
Here I am, 1:50am, amazed by the wonders of white outside.. beautiful yet dangerous as most things in life seem to follow that very rule. My mind is racing. I could analyze it further realizing it is due to a combination of inputs I have recieved over the past few hours, days, weeks, months.. I could interpret my rollercoaster of emotions as a ( Read more... ) -
The effect of music on my concentration
I find it strange the effect that music can have on the human emotions. Even with a song I've never heard, when I'm working so well with the background of the music only recognized in my subconscious.. until my thoughts run astray and suddenly it's brought into the foreground. It's like suddenly realizing that my fingers are making contact with ( Read more... ) -
There will always be things to do in life, therefore is no better time to meditate than now
So my intended ten - fifteen minute break from my papers has turned into a half an hour of procrastination and even after switching topics I find my mind flying away from concentration. As the title indicates, I think all I need is a good meditation session.. I fear I'm waay out of practice though, and with the added stress of due dates and exams ( Read more... ) -
Life Goes On
So I think there are only a few people who actually read this.. it's more for my own thoughts.. but it's been awhile anyhow. I ended my relationship yesterday. I could have been making a big mistake, I know I hurt someone so bad he will be thinking about it for a long time. I can't help but blame myself for not saying things or for not trying as ( Read more... )