I have always had this delusion that when I grow up I will be normal. However, I have a chronic mental illness. I will never get better. I will never be normal. In the back of my mind I sort of believed as I got older I would screw my head on straight and take my meds like Im supposed to and be able to handle stress in my life. I've been aware ( Read more... )

When I was 16 years old I spent three months actively pursuing the boy who would become my high school boyfriend. He knew I liked him and he turned me down because he was interested in another girl in our group of friends. I told him that was fine, but I always get what I want. I had this incredible confidence and never gave up. I made sure I ( Read more... )

I definitely should not be allowed out during the fall. My brain is on fire. One minute Im giddy, wanting to do cartwheels and talk all night and the next I am super agitated and want to be left alone. I should be used to this by now. I remember it happening as far back as when I was 12 years old. I suppose everyone has a "why me" day once in ( Read more... )

For a split second I wondered how I could feel so tired and so wired at the same time. Then I remembered thats what it feels like for me to be bipolar in the summer. How quickly one forgets. Its like when you get strep throat, its always worse than you remembered it. People dont seem to remember pain well. I always forget that when I get wired ( Read more... )

I have spent at least the last 45 minutes thinking about using the work out video I bought last year that I have never touched. I know I should do it, but its intimidating. Its weird that I find a work out video intimidating. Its almost embarrassing to think of myself jumping around in front of the television. Maybe I am afraid of failure, like ( Read more... )

This morning I apologized to the guy I was a bitch to all fall. I felt angry for months and was too embarrassed about my behavior to even speak to him. It was strange, as soon as I apologized I stopped feeling angry. He thanked me for apologizing and seemed to understand that I was sick and didnt mean any of the awful things I said. He said he ( Read more... )

When I got home from the MP in May I was so excited to devote my existence to the Ear. I had friends there and felt like I had a second home ( Read more... )

I seriously am starting to think I have no friends. Well, no friends that actually live within 60 miles to me. I just traded somebody my morning shift at the Ear for their night shift on New Years Eve because I have nobody to hang out with that night and I would rather say I spent it helping people than sitting at home with my mom. I kind of ( Read more... )

Have you ever fixed something to the point where you wish you hadn't fixed it because it no longer needs you now that it's fixed ( Read more... )

How do you block the sound of a voice you'd know anywhere?