I can't help but feel like things will never be the same again. I've done a fair amount of crying in the past week or two. Ursula died last week. She was diagnosed with cancer last year, and after a long fight, she passed away. We weren't close, I was pretty convinced she didn't even like me, but I was profoundly sad when I got the news, it was ( Read more... )

REFLECTION OF THE YEAR SURVEY ( Read more... )

Don't know what this means, just know it's been in my head for days ( Read more... )

Watching tv the other day, it occurred to me... If someone ever told me I was a "good wife and mother," I'd probably be insulted, or at least deeply disappointed in myself. Even though I think I'd like someday to be married and have kids. I think its mostly the "wife" part. The idea of being a "wife" in the traditional sense is kind of ( Read more... )

The internet is a wide and fathomless place. You wander around and you are bound to find things that touch you, that make your heart race, that make you wonder. Pictures, words, poetry. I look at things, and I marvel constantly about how drastically different I am. I used to write differently, looking back on my journal scares me sometimes. I ( Read more... )

I just finished reading "Haunted" by Chuck Palahniuk. This was the first time I've read anything by him. I probably could have chosen something a little less soul-disquieting. All of his books seem like they might be a bit fucked up, but this one seems to be reaching for something beyond that. It's a great book, but so disturbed that you feel ( Read more... )

So once upon a time there was a nice young girl in her senior year of college, and people started asking her what she was going to do when she graduated. And this young girl, she was nice, and she was smart, and she was talented, and people seemed to like her, and she probably could have come up with some options if she was forced to. And she was ( Read more... )

Mammoth caves are amazing and everyone should go see them. I went to two other caves this summer and this one is very different than either of them. I think I'm starting to love caves and need to go to more of them. There weren't stalactites and stalagmite everywhere, they weren't anywhere. The cave was more like a canyon with a lid on it, with ( Read more... )

So I'm on the tail end of another wonderful summer. I worked as a props artisan at Utah Shakes again and had a lovely time just like last year. If was different than last year, but not in a bad way. The season wasn't crawling with awesome projects, but I got some portfolio stuff out of it I think. And I learned things as always. Went on some ( Read more... )

I really need a hug.

Knowing I have to wait 12 more days for the one I want is getting to be extremely frustrating.

Extremely.