ok, so let me give a basic rundown of my last few months to explain why this is so great. essentially, moving to vegas w/ no savings and no job did exactly what you'd expect to someone w/ as much debt as i have, i.e. made my debt even worse because of missed monthly payments which got my interest rates higher as well as demanding large sums of ( Read more... )

now is not a great time for me to be dealing with a break up. i know we both came to terms w/ the fact that we're just not great for each other, but that doesn't make it any less sad that something that, for a bit there, did make me happy is now over. i don't have anyone to cuddle w/ anymore. i'm alone...again. as i have been for most of my ( Read more... )

i'm an idiot. ok, that's a given. but i'm reminded of that fact. it's fucking 6 in the morning and i just finished rereading all of the emails adam and i exchanged during our initial courtship. then i looked at his myspace. he's still in a relationship. seriously, how can i still not be over him? it's frustrating and sad and frustrating and ( Read more... )

here's what it comes down to. I am a california girl. I know that now, I accept that now, I embrace that now. when i was just missing my family and friends, that was one thing. that was expected and, unless i talked to my nephew, i could handle it. but then i started to miss california things. the beach, disneyland, my bar, and my thinking ( Read more... )

so i realized i wrote a lot of bad stuff, and as soon as the good stuff happens, i go silent. so, here's the quick update. i now have 2 jobs, and i'm training at both of them right now. it's exhausting, but it'll be worth it in the end, especially when i nail down exact hours i can work. that and getting my credit card have made life ( Read more... )

well, people said that i'd grow a lot by coming out here, and if hardship is the basis for growth, then i'm gonna be a god damn giant. no money, not even enough for half a tank of gas, no job, though hopefully that'll change soon. our gas is turned off, so i either get a hot shower at skyler and danny's place or a cold one here, roommates who ( Read more... )

i'm starting to freak out a little. i'm sure the foundation of the stress is the whole i have massive bills coming up and no way to pay them, but there's more. part of me keeps thinking i made a mistake coming out here. in the last two days one of my friends got drunk, snapped, and talked about killing himself to the point of actually grabbing ( Read more... )

on sunday night, i was talking to jeremy, the guy i met online before i moved out here, via text message. we had a date to go out monday night but not before then. freddy invited him out to the drag show, so i extended the invitation to him. he gave me grief that the invite came from my friend, but i just didn't know that i wanted our first ( Read more... )

holy shit, i'm moving tomorrow. my going away party is tonight, i still haven't finished packing, and i'm moving tomorrow. this is nuts. i went to the beach this afternoon. i got a couple of bottles from michael's, one for the sand, one for the water. my own little beach in the middle of the dessert. i had a towel in my trunk, so i just sat ( Read more... )

well, here i am. i move in 2 weeks. it's funny how it seems so far away when i made the decision, and now every day, at least 5 times, it hits me, and i think "holy shit, i'm moving in 2 weeks". i don't feel nervous. honestly, the only thing i'm nervous about is finding a job cuz it's pretty apparent i won't have one when i move there, so the ( Read more... )