I'm bagging at publix, and it's an especially miserable day with pouring rain and all that. About halfway through my shift, my friend from the bakery walks by. I'm always joking with her that her jobs the best since she gets to eat cake all day, and last time she joked she could hook me up with a cake of my own. So today, as she's walking by, I ( Read more... )

So Thursday, some stoner smashes into my car as I'm driving home. I know he's a stoner not because of how he looked or talked, but because he told me; something I think is kind of weird to say to the guy whose car you just broke. So after about a week of hassling with their insurance company, they finally sent someone out to get something done ( Read more... )

The jig is up. My cookies-for-psych-tests operation may have to be cut short. The word's getting out, plus I think that weird arab kid with the creepy high pitched voice wants to get in on it now. If I let him, we'll all get caught, but if I refuse, he'll suicide bomb me. Oh fuck, and my fake car decal is melting, too ( Read more... )

Wait a minute, how come no one ever told me it was black history month? Shouldn't we be doing like, reports on Martin Luther King Jr or something? What's the dillio, yo?

It was a good weekend. A strong weekend that was good. Yep, it was. Good, good, good. Strong, strong, strong. It was good and strong. Good.

By the way, you da' man!

Seems like I'm going to college afterall. Good thing I got accepted, because it was the only place I applied.

Everyone might want to get off the roads for the next few days.

Every once in a while I feel like grabbing a harpoon and shooting some whales.

Greatest moment in history: We're driving down University on the way to Wendy's, when all the sudden I hear "OH MY GOD!" from within the car, and I see a finger pointing out the window. I then look out and see four giant letter Z's. These were very well made Z's, too. They weren't really going anywhere, either. They were just sort of prancing ( Read more... )

Lots of fun, lots of fun, lots of fun. Homecoming is great. Silly me, being worried because I can't dance and all. Apparently, all dancing is is just sticking your crotch in a girl's ass and moving from side to side to the beat of rap music. This is something most people have the ability to do, including me. Plus like every senior was there, and ( Read more... )