Now that the holidays are over I've been too excited about life to sleep! 2015 recap pt 2 tomorrow

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Been a nice couple of weeks. Feels like the past has cleared and I've been working on my projects almost every day and being mostly vegetarian. Just read through some of my exes entries from 10 years ago when we were together and after we split. This summer I disconnected from him after a long series of events that made me feel used and unimportant ( Read more... )

The last two weeks multiple people have told me I'm the most successful person they know??? This is really confusing for me since lately I feel like I fucked up big time by getting knocked up and leaving my loft. Since quitting poker I can barely make my bills and that's without having rent, gas, and electric in the mix. *sigh* I think I just put ( Read more... )

Been super happy since I quit poker and started making stuff again. Feeling a bit broke after taxes and without the steadier poker income, but am still doing allright. Started a new job with a company called zeel, but it's kind of weird. It's a really high end in call massage company. We make 75% commission so that's pretty spectacular, but going ( Read more... )

Can't sleep. Feelings of worthlessness and being a complete loser envelop me. Anxiety and depression my new norm. Thinking how the lows outweigh the highs in life. Feeling I've felt to much bad. Thoughts of suicide make me feel calm.

I open a box and all it's contents are little pieces of me. I am reuniting. All the bits of me I lost sight of with everything going on the last couple months. My fox den is nearly done and I am settling in, becoming myself again ( Read more... )

Feeling a bit listless. Just totally zonked from the busy work week and a wee bit stressed about taxes. It will all work out though. Lead a full moon meditation and it was nice. Still feeling the urge to move somewhere cleaner. I think I would like to learn a new skillset soon. Feeling the need to expand my knowledge while restricting my social ( Read more... )

I'm at a new point in my life where I no longer have to do things to feel better. I've stopped the behaviors that would cause me to feel bad and self punish. I don't feel broken anymore. I feel healthy and calm on the day to day. I feel like a part of the whole and not so ( Read more... )

Did a really nice manifestation ritual today with Leslie and Dima. Feeling super good and positive after some old sadness came up last night. I just let it out and then felt rejuvenated. Booked my trip to Houston and Austin for Fraggles wedding. Super excited about it! Been wanting to do quiet things lately. Reading, cooking, and watching shows.

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I think too much...and it usually makes me feel bad. I've been working on shutting myself up the past couple of days. Every time I have a thought that is not pertinent to what I am actually doing, I erase it. I send it off and refocus my thoughts on what I'm actually doing or planning. I think they call this mindfulness in the new age speak ( Read more... )