I'm utterly baffled at these times we are living in.  A day doesn't go back that something heart-wrenching seems to happen and I can't help but feel that these times have been lived through before.  I thought we were past these dark days of racial hatred, back alley abortions and radical violence.  Sure, the radical violence part is always going to ( Read more... )

I'm sick of being stuck in this limbo world that I'm currently in.  I'm trying so hard to stay positive about the whol thing but it's hard.  Feeling like you are literally starting from scratch in a new place really sucks.  I remember laying in bed watching TV in June and thinking that that was one of the last times in 2015 where I would feel truly ( Read more... )

Lately I started thinking of my head as this hotel. So many drifters living there, rent free, taking up space and I wanted them to get out but short of physically lifting them up myself and throwing them on the street, I couldn't get rid of them. Like a seedy hotel that used to be this fabulous place 20 years ago but now people had hung around ( Read more... )

It seems I only come to you journal when life again is at a standstill. Things let me down, I feel like hope is lost. Again, my path feels uncertain and unflailing. For once I had resigned to my position- I would keep my job, move to Chicago in a year and it would all be fine. And then out of nowhere an opportunity reared its head and I jumped ( Read more... )

i'm just a girl with no chargers of any kind, sad on Halloween. Since when did this holiday lose it's meaning and become just another day in adulthood? Adulthood which isn't exactly fun that's for sure. my heart is bruised.

Sometimes I just want to shake myself and tell myself to be the best Heather that I can everyday. But then I'm lazy. And I don't do my hair. And I can't be bothered getting dressed. Does anyone else feel like their life is a collection of messes that they make all over and then when the mess gets so bad that you can't clean it up you move on. ( Read more... )

How do you drown out the noise of the expectations of other people for your life? How do people not constantly compare everything they do to everyone else? I try so hard to put my blinders on and focus on what is important to me, my happiness, my different life track to everyone else but then this pressure creeps in to do everything by the book ( Read more... )

Fuck. What the hell ( Read more... )

Sometimes I worry if I'm choosing to do the things that are most important to me. I wish that I could live near enough to my family to see them more than once or twice a year. Should I have chosen to stay closer to home? Will I someday regret the time that was missed with my family when they are gone? I'm in no way second guessing my ( Read more... )

Fuckkkk. It happened again. I went for a job and didn't get it at TM. This is the fourth time this has happened. I literally have a problem!! The first few times this happened I was like, OK, I have a problem. But now it's like no one has a problem, I just need to find somewhere I do fit. I'm trying so hard to not be negative but it's ( Read more... )