I don't really update this anymore, so if you want to read about all the drama in my fucked up life, check out my myspace www.myspace.com/asweetpinkmonkey

So I had a bad day today, well tonight actually. For some reason I got extremely depressed and ended up crying for a few hours. I kept thinking about how I had wasted 3 months waiting for someone who can't stand me anymore. Then I just got really lonely, it's been so long since somebody has held me because they cared about me and loved me. I love ( Read more... )

Chris and I finally agreed on something today. We're not really in love with each other anymore, we're most likely not getting back together ever, and we don't really like each other all that much. lol. In a way I'm relieved to finally know what's going to happen with us, in another I'm sad that Jake will never have a real family with parents that ( Read more... )

I miss him lately. I don't know exactly why, but I do. Not all of him, just certain things about him. For all his faults and fuck ups, he always cared and he always showed that he cared. He did everything he could to ease my pain, physical, mental, any kind of pain I had. Granted a lot of times my emotional pain was caused by him, but still the ( Read more... )

I look at her and I see my future. A future of waiting for the father of my child to grow up and make us a real family. A future of waiting for something that might never happen, but still waiting. I wish I could sit here and say that I don't understand why she waits for him and clings to the hope of them getting back together, but I do, I really ( Read more... )

So tonight I had my first after baby drink. Just one Mike's since I don't want to over do it. My mom is watching Jake tonight, which is good because I really became a light weight after not drinking for a year. Not drunk or anything, just really buzzed for only having one Mike's. Obviously this isn't going to be a regular thing, but I must admit it ( Read more... )

I have lots of pictures of my Jake up on my photobucket so if any of you want to check it out the link is http://photobucket.com/albums/v306/ASweetPinkMonkey/Jacob/
I'll be putting more pics up as I take them so watch out for my growing boy =)

I can't help but wonder what would have happened had I traveled down a different path. Would things still have ended up the same way? I don't mean the path of not getting pregnant. It's only been a week and already I don't want to imagine my life without him, he's the best thing to ever happen to me. I just mean the circumstances of my life. Had I ( Read more... )

Mr. Fussy had kept me away from my computer most of the time lately so I haven't gotten a chance to update about him yet. It's hard to tear myself away from him, he's just so sweet and adorable. I couldn't have asked for a better baby. He's just so perfect, even when he's screaming and flipping out he just looks so adorable. Well, he did inherit ( Read more... )

Here's my adorable baby boy Jacob Bradley Denize:


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