Even though I don't have a job, a home, enough to eat (though I do have a new record), my internship (yet) things feel like they are falling into place - I once met a gypsy with a pHd, she told me I heard voices, that my body was burning from fear, that my sex drive would get me into trouble, that I would never enjoy good health, that I would ( Read more... )

Bat For Lashes - Fur and Gold ( Read more... )

A combo of wine and xanax made me more than a little somber, I shouldn't let myself ruminate- that's for cows ( Read more... )

I'm giving up on playing music -- and it's all the Hold Steady's fault. The singer looked so fucking happy on stage but then afterwords, drinking a beer with him he was so, well not depressed, but not grinning like a goon on steroids that I just wanted to start doing the charleston to make him smile, and I kind of realized the energy it takes to ( Read more... )

Is it OK that I rent a Godard film and a DVD of the OC and it is the OC that helps me make up my mind?   Is it OK that as a (faux) pomo snob I even bother with the twinge of "low-brow" guilt?    Meh.   At least if Toronto is a mistake I can denounce TV and not the French New Wave.

I'll miss a lot about Vancouver.   But everything that I'll miss I ( Read more... )

My latest antibiotics taste like Rockets, so sweet and powdery that I'm sure my doctor has started giving me placebos.    I feel like my body is indecently exposed to the world,  the tiniest fissure in my skin and the world just  slams in like a drunk teenager and wreks havok.   I kind of enjoy the idea of the world constantly pressing into my body ( Read more... )

I was expecting my dinner party to be a disaster on the scale of The Exterminating Angel, but somehow we all made it out the other side with our bourgeois morals still fairly intact. It left me feeling very accomplished and adult (even though I served fudgecicles for desert). 

I always knew Caitlin wasn't the name for me, but Lulu? Come on motherfuckers!

There has been a bit of discussion about taking Humbert Humbert and The All time Lo's to the stage. We've got the boy -- he's really more of a Quincy, with the slyest eyes you will see this side of a foxhole-- but he has a fantastic crooning voice and a feline slouch that makes the whole thing a bit more perverse. I'm getting a bit long in the ( Read more... )

We huddled in the church drinking unsanctified wine. I mumbled something about finding a priest, or Elijah. He sang us our hymns, found a way in to the cracks where the cynics bundle their longing, where the athiests let themselves be blessed. I left half way through to smoke a cigarette. It was unfiltered and I burnt my finger trying to buy ( Read more... )