So, i'm quite the emotional woman these days. I would actually consider taking some sort of pils to make myself chill out. My highs are so high, but my lows are so low, and both are set off too easily. When i'm having my highs, i am adamantly against taking any kind of mind controlling drug, aside from recreationally in moderation. I always say ( Read more... )

i just really like Andy a lot. more than i shold let myself. i'm going to work on convincing myself that he's not as great as he really is. because he is really great. safety precautions ( Read more... )

here are my current anxieties. they're all really pathetic...but hey,i'm really pathetic!

-Tyler called me last night. he left a long message saying he wanted to catch up and "resume our friendship". he said that he's been very busy and understands if i'm annoyed with him for not staying in touch. i got so fucking nervous when i saw that area code, ( Read more... )

ah, sensory overload

I've met this boy. Boy.  He's only 18, i think. A year older than myself.
i think that i have some kind of interest in him. i probably won't pursue it. i'd be perfectly happy just staying good friends with him. he's a cute little jewish boy named Andrew. he's very nice (in an honest way), and a musician. he's also quite funny. i'm not sure if he has ( Read more... )

and the theme is :
Misery Loves Company

i'm putting up lyrics that only are word for word perfectly and specifically to do with the portion of life involving tony.
these are word for word accurate descriptions. a lot of them are a lot better in teh actual song it'self though.

i'm so glad that my memory's remote
'cos i'm doing just fine hour to hour
note to note
here it is- the revenge to ( Read more... )

i'm about to go try for stemens vocal ensamble and i'm so fucking scared. the only reason i'm scared is because it's STEMEN
i wanna call tony but i called him yesterday and i dont want to be annoying. i just wanna ask him what happens on the first day so i'm sorta prepared

charles mansons music is good but it gave me a headache.
i couldnt go to school today because i felt too terrible. i'm so useless and pathetic.

i don't know what i'm doing anymore. i have absolutely no interest in living, but i'm terrified of death. so i don't really know what i want. i wouldnt kill myself because that would be hypocritical in so many ways. 
i know what i want in life but trying for that is just too idealistic.
fuck.
i hate waking up more than anything. i get so depressed ( Read more... )