....and in the blink of an eye two weeks had passed? It seems to be immensely difficult to separate one day from another here. Was it yesterday I went to Suoi Tien? A week ago? Ah, lord, wait a minute it was Monday! I had my first motorcycle accident that day. Apparently these happen all the time, and they're no big deal at all to Vietnamese ( Read more... )

One of my favorite things to do anywhere in the world is just walk around and try to get lost.  The incredible incomprehensible maze of back alleys here is among the top places to do this in the world.  First of all, they all exude life from everywhere.  All the front doors are open, everyone's out in the street drinking beer, or cutting intestines ( Read more... )

Yellow, everybody.  I did manage to survive the last three months, believe it or not.  After graduation I returned to my home in all my collegiate splendor, which just meant that everything was the same but I was terrified that suddenly I had to live a real life.  Thankfully I was able to put off doing anything reasonably responsible with myself by ( Read more... )

Ah, it's time to face facts. 
Nothing helps.  All the psycho- and self- analysis, all the drugs, all the support in the world isn't going to make this better.  I will never beat this thing.  It's the same on the medications as off; I can smile and laugh, and convince myself I'm actually happy through the best of times, but when it's over I'm left ( Read more... )

Wow.  This semester is going by pretty quick considering I don't have anything to do four days a week.  To some extent it's worrisome as I'm concerned about having enough money for the summer (I'm trying to find a new job because I can only work two days a week at the B-Ducc), but at the same time it's relaxing and kind of a good break considering ( Read more... )

Talking to Ross and Andrew is sort of making me feel desperate (in the original sense of the word, not the modern).  I think the only reason I'm back is because if I don't finish this last semester it'll hang over my head forever.  But given that, I need to move on ( Read more... )

Being back is strangely difficult.  For some reason I feel embarrassed and anxious about seeing anyone.  I've really just sort of holed up in my room most of the time with books or TV shows or movies.  The weirdest it got was last Thursday.  Since I'd been back I had received several friendly invitations from a girl who just before I left had ( Read more... )

Me:         ....it's just that everything that makes me me, I want to get rid of it.
Mom:     Is that because you think other people don't want it?  Because I think they do.
Me:         I honestly don't know.
Mom:     There's just some aspect you're looking for that you're not getting - initiation.   Coming from a chain of shaping through childhood ( Read more... )

thank you everyone for understanding what I do honestly recognize is an immature and played out issue cum delusion. The fact this has come up again and again says less about what it itself means or how accurate it all is, but more about myself and my dissatisfaction with my ability to deal with and respect myself ( Read more... )

Last night was - in retrospect - a hilarious venture into farcical Jungian intervention. I, As I have taken the habit of, was drinking the tranquilizing amounts it takes me to get to sleep at night when I received a phone call which could be nothing other than the three blind sisters who tend the loom of fate's idea of hilarity ( Read more... )