thank god i took today off. i slept til nine when my dog woke my up by barking for about two minutes straight. then i tried to go back to sleep but i got blinding cramps and had to get up to get some ibuprofen. but i'm so beat. i was going to go to school this morning and i started freaking out because i couldn't find my sweat pants and my mom was ( Read more... )

when i say i can't wait for him to leave i mean i can't live without him and it's going to kill me to see him go. i'm not mad at him... i'm mad at myself for not being good enough and i'm scared at the thought of losing him. i'm so scared because it seems like he's changing and he's one of the few people who've stuck with me even when i broke their ( Read more... )

i wish i was a senior so that i could just do shit and get away with it.

I try not to let stupid little shit-ass things bother me like not getting into NHS or not being the valedictorian or being a hot blond with huge boobs or not being perfect. not that any of those things upset me at all.

sometimes i want to do things that are wrong. they are not ( Read more... )

sometimes i'm the biggest asshole ever and i can't stand it.

It is 1:05 pm and I have nothing to do. I'm sitting in the MIDI lab at school. my ipod batteries died. luckily i figured out that i could listen to regina spektor online from her website for free. it's saving my life right now. i should be doing my precalc homework, but i really just need to take a break for a little while because i am not getting ( Read more... )

i talked to her last night. SHE WILL NOT LISTEN. she was like "it's hormones. everyone's like that". NO. EVERYONE IS NOT LIKE THAT. normal kids can go to parties without having mental breakdowns. normal kids do not stop eating because they hate themselves. normal kids do not think about driving their cars into trees at high speeds.

andy and i ( Read more... )

i'm really sad that the musical is over. it's really depressing that it's probably going to be the last musical i'll ever be in because i can't really see myself having a ton of time in college, especially as a science major. it gives me really heavy boots to think about things being over. but i can't think like this. it's bad.

i also have to stop ( Read more... )

i've been trying to stay sort of underground lately because a lot of what i have to say is going to be negative and i feel like no one wants to hear it. I'm trying to stop complaining about things so much.

I am so unbelievable stressed right now, i feel like if someone so much as breathes on me the wrong way i will explode. today i was so mad ( Read more... )

hi i'm icarus
and i'm falling down

i've been a fucking wreck lately. if you haven't noticed. well actually you probably haven't. i've been working very hard to cover it up. but at this point i have been sitting in my room on a friday night just crying because i cannot physically be everything everyone wants me to unless i get one of those time ( Read more... )

thank god for carly. i feel so much better just getting out of town for a while. we're so random. we decided to go drive up the berlin turnpike and just go random places because it was really early. on the way we passed this huge pick-up truck that had those enormous wheels in her old lady car and we were listening to 93.7 so we cranked it up ( Read more... )