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 This is probably the best crowd response I've gotten so far, so I'd have to nominate this as my best performance to date. It's an added personal bonus that nobody in the audience is related to me or a friend of mine... I did all this to a room full of strangers, and it was awesome.

There's some new jokes in there... those of you who have been ( Read more... )

I really hope this kid becomes insanely famous, just so that we can all learn a very valuable lesson about how internet fame is transitory and ultimately based on how horny you make 11-year old girls.

"Predatory pricing" dupes young girl into ringing up $400 iPod Touch bill.

I kinda' don't care about the actual content of this story. Sure, predatory pricing or whatever, but I'm so filled with resentment that some 6-year old has an iPod touch while I'm still rocking a cellphone with a hand-crank that I can't muster the outrage to care if they lose ( Read more... )

My girlfriend got me a "Farscape" comic for Christmas (titled "The Beginning of the End of the Beginning"). It's a continuation of the series, sort of like how "Buffy" continues in the form of comics, picking up where "The Peacekeeper Wars" leaves off. It's written by Rockne O'Bannon, the dude who wrote the show, so it feels a lot like an episode ( Read more... )

Lady Gaga sells magazines. Taylor Swift does not.

I'm not a magazine scientist. In fact, even if I were to be given a huge grant to study how the human brain interacts with magazine covers, I would spend all of that money on "making people maybe open the magazine up and have a glance at what's inside of it before deciding to purchase it or not". And ( Read more... )

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I don't understand what customers expect from me.

"You're sold out of all the hot items!"
 "The register line is so long!"
 "It took me half an hour to find a parking space!"

Any reasonable person would probably chalk these up as the natural consequence of doing all your Christmas shopping 4 days out from the holiday, but apparently 100% of my store's ( Read more... )

In my ultimately vain struggle to find some kind of preview/trailer for the upcoming Doctor Who Christmas Special 2010 (I did manage to find one like 8 second clip, but it's hardly satisfying), I did come across one neat bit of information: apparently, Neil Gaiman will be writing an episode for next season.

It's about goddamn time, if you ask me.

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 This would be the greatest film ever made.

Anti-piracy advocate forgot to hide her pegleg and parrot.

I'm against piracy as a widespread practice. But shit, with the exception of about 10 songs, I'm pretty sure every song on my iPod would be considered "illegally downloaded". When I first got it (which, if you're keeping score at home, is about 3 years after everyone else got theirs), I just ( Read more... )