it's lovely, having shit build up for months and months and then one day out of the blue for that other person to become almost seemingly uninterested. it's okay, though, they promise, they still love you and want to be best friends, because isn't that what it's all about anyway?, and even though they have a boyfriend when they see you eventually ( Read more... )

i really have been meaning to write some sprawling entry explaining my feelings and my current circumstances, but i just haven't felt the mood strike me. so, instead, have my prom group: jon & kristen (that's me and kristen), kelsey & john (her boyfriend), jessica & ???, lauren (walsh) & trevor (the both of them, so dreamy), amber & her boyfriend, ( Read more... )

this is such a fucking battle. one second she's all over me, and everything's joyous, the next second she's almost hateful and completely cold towards me. it's like every conversation i have with her is a boxing match, and every single time it ends with me getting repeatedly punched in the head. i'm the ground, saliva and blood pouring out of my ( Read more... )

i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i will always love you i love you i love you i love you i love ( Read more... )

i'm short circuiting. that is the only explanation. everything that is going on in my head, everything that is going on around me, everything that might or might not happen in the future, it's all getting to me, finally. my hardened cocoon i have wrapped and hidden myself in this past year is finally cracking open, being knocked open by a curious ( Read more... )

i had a lot of worry, doubt, stress, whatever, i'm not good at english, so far this school year. i didn't know what to do, i wasn't ready to graduate from school, what if i don't get into any college, will i be able to leave my friends behind?, that sort of stuff. i suppose it's good news, then, that i think i might have gotten accepted into ( Read more... )

this may seem completely cheesy, but i feel the need to say something. right now, i'm feeling moved by the death of heath ledger. i'm honestly upset. he was never a favorite actor of mine, but i'd seen so many of his films, and he was such a fantastic actor, just growing into maturity with his roles in brokeback mountain, and this past year in i'm ( Read more... )

update: i got my banjo so i feel a little better.
i can already play "the transfiguration" by sufjan stevens!

i feel myself crumbling. none of my friends care about me enough to wish me a happy birthday. tom wished me in person, and then everyone did an "oh yeah, it's your birthday, hurray for you." then my mom, cecil, stephanie, and samantha texted me. no one else cares. my mom didn't even wish it to me in person this morning. my brothers, it seems, ( Read more... )

a new year

the whole andrea thing was decidedly a false alarm. i do that all the time. i don't know how to read emotions.
keri is still cute.
i slept with her sunday morning... like actually slept
it was nice.