I can't seem to stop thinking about it.

What if?

       I believe that I have successfully placed myself in a cesspool of crap that I lovingly call my life...again. I don't understand why my passive-aggressiveness has to come out at what is seemingly, the wrong moment. Why can't it come out when there is no one in sight? It's like it is a motion detector and as soon as someone comes under my ( Read more... )

I think that I'm at yet another crossroad in this delusion that we call life. And no, I don't mean that stupid movie with that Spears hooker in it. I don't know whether it's time to let go of the years of history or just pretend everything is fine and continue to go with the motions. Everything is changing; some good and others bad. How do I know ( Read more... )

       How awkward I feel when a day like this actually occurs. It's not often in rotation like I wish it could be, but what can one do right? How easier things could be if only I could hold on to this happiness, this contentment with my little micro-verse. It's that feeling of everything falling into place, the planets aligned in my favor, the sun ( Read more... )

Walking on egg shells can only keep you safe for so long. The first time you falter, it's all eyes on you. One thing turns into another and before you know it, you've become the special guest star in an episode of The Outer Limits. You'll never hear the end of it, because that one time will be sure to bring up all the other times and so on. By this ( Read more... )

...What are you doing? I replied, "Agonizing over what I could never get and never truly appreciating what I have."

He meant literally

...and I meant what I said.

       I often wonder why I never have anything good to say on this anymore. The fact that I always seem to be in poor spirits for well...most of the time. All of the time it seems like. I hate the fact that I'm able to see my situation in both lights. It only furthers my responsibility to it. Meaning, I most likely know what I'm supposed to do but ( Read more... )

       Today felt like one of the loneliest days I've ever had. I kept up pretenses as best I could throughout most of the day, but the evening did away with all of that. I guess it was just too hard to continue with all of the non-stop movement today and the day previous to that. In the end, I was too tired and despondent to even try. I want to ( Read more... )

       That ever-so dolor question...

"Why is this always happening to me/us?"

::Raises hand::

I think I know the answer...

I beseech forgiveness for never being good enough. I fathom this life will never witness it.