Meltdowns: 2
Orgasms: 1
Phone calls: 5
Dry heaves: 2
Pieces of garbage duct taped to the sidewalk: 2
Projects completed: 0
Jesu's "Dead Eyes": 47

On April 21, 2004 I posted this diary entry about my editor and friend, Cathy Schutz:

My boss is wearing a multi-colored feather boa at her desk ( Read more... )

Yesterday I learned that Googling "Pooface McAllister" does not come up with any results. However, Google does query: "Do you mean Poopface McAllister?"

But when I clicked on it there still were no results.

So I'm writing this so there will be results, for both of them.

You're welcome, poo(p)face

Awww, our fashion writer called my boots "fierce" and now I'm all atwitter!

http://www.ibabuzz.com/fashion/?p=81

Lately, my new favorite phrase to scream in my head is: "SHITTY TITTY FUCKCHOPS ( Read more... )

I am an introvert.

Please read this: http://www.theatlantic.com/doc/200303/rauch

It made a lot of sense to me.

Sometimes I sit and wonder exactly what the hell is going on with my brain. The increasing stutter in my speech, the lapsing memory, the sudden moments of panic, the need to touch and re-touch and re-touch the fucking doorknob because I fear I touched it wrong and will face a day, maybe a lifetime, of bad karma because of it. What gives ( Read more... )

Just when you thought the Porkchoplatte couldn't get any more meat-a-licious, I find another one. This weekend in Vegas I had a bacon martini ( Read more... )

Six months ago my desk chair disappeared. I wasn't TOO upset because it was a crappy, uncomfortable chair anyway. But it was MY chair -- with a two-year imprint of my butt on the seat ( Read more... )

Directions: Type "(your name) is" with the quotes, into a Google search then pick out your favorite 5 responses. Copy, then repost your responses ( Read more... )